So, so tired.
I'm taking the show on the road for a while starting tomorrow, so I may not be able to update.
Marriage is a sick display of heteronormativity.
Finally watched Bad Education. I realized I had already seen it, when it was called the Law of Desire. Still, pretty good.
Haunted is some sick shit. Sick and amazing.
Coldplay's new album is fucking boring.
Kisses!
I’ve come to accept the fact that I enjoy the internet more than people. I am more than happy to tinker on my already-outdated laptop, downloading music and reading random articles and looking at job openings that I won’t even be applying for. I tried to be all stoic when my internet was not working, not being dependent on it, but when I finally figured out how to get it working, you should have seen the spittle at the corners of my mouth. I am such a sad cliche of the technology age. At least I am not staying up late reading Roswell slash fiction. Heh.
Sad thing is, I actually have the urge to work on things for work. Yea, it’s my weekend, but I just want to take my work computer somewhere and work on a few things. I always swore I would never become one of those annoying, no-life reslife professionals who totally turn into these martyrs for their job. I guess I am not, because I recognize that it is my choice. And I guess it is okay because I am not spending my time doing rounds of my building or spending my nights running around the frsshman halls, the things I want to work on are setting up a webpage for my halls for next year and writing propasals for changes I need to see done.
Speaking of annoying reslife professionals, I will be at Residential Life Professional Conferences pretty much for the next two weeks. This week I am off to Rochester to a retreat for about 30 new professionals in the field, and I will be assigned a mentor in the field and we will talk about our competencies and shit. This can either be relly empowering or Dork Central 2005. I am debating whether I should go in as my “real” self, hating everyone and making fun of everyone in sight. Or go in with my professional attitude and actually try to take something from it. I guess I’ll decide when I get there. Then I am off to Boston for the NEACUHO conference.
You know what’s fucking amazing? “Twin Cinemas” by the New Pornographers. It’s from their new album, and I can’t wait to get my grubby little hands on it. Check it out here.
The new Coldplay album? Not hot.
The new Mxpx album? So not hot.
Having a job that requires you to work during the summer? Not hot.
Hey all, due to the fact that my internet won’t work in my house because of some dumb ITS policy, I am forced to be writing this from the public library. I know, I am so ashamed. This computer I’m writing from is like a Commodore 64. After I write this I am going to play some Pong. Although, the library does have some hot cds. I just checked out the John Spencer Blues Explosion, the Minutemen, and Aimee Mann. And the Empire Records Soundtrack (I’ve had a major urge to listen to that song, “Sugar High” that Renee Zellweger sings at the end with that punk dude. Remember? Please throw me a bone and let me know if you know what I am talking about).
New obsession: Audioscobbler. Check out my profile. Basically this site is a place for all us music snobs to get together and show off how cool we are and how indie we are. Of course I think it is genius. However, it is kind of embrassing, because it tracks everything you listen to. Like now the world knows I really love that stupid song by Crash Test Dummies…
So, there is a job opening at the NYU School of Medicine that looks oddly familiar to Corry McKee’s old job…can it mean that she is leaving?
The Real World Austin Premiers soon….I was all set to give up on it but dammit, I plan on moving to Austin, so now I am forced to.
Newsflash: Ewan MacGregor thinks it’s “unfortunate” that he’s never had sex with a man.
Someone is making the Ring 3. Good god, why?
Oh my God, someone answered my prayers:
BRANDON DAVIS, boyfriend of The OC star Mischa Barton, will star as the new face of Italian denim brand Replay. There will even be a new $500 pair of jeans named after him.
Ok, enough of this entertainment news, I feel like Pat O’Brien or something.
Not much going on, gonna take the long weekend and read Haunted by Chuck Palahnuik. My God, the man is a genius. Plus, reading the book is the best diet ever, because there is some freaky/stomach-churning shit.
I am listening to my top-rated songs, and I realized a lot of the tracks are covers. Here are some of my favorites:
Your Love- Midtown covers The Outfield
Cruel to Be Kind- The New Pornographers cover the oldie (also done by letters to Cleo)
Where is My Mind – Nada Surf covers The Pixies (and almost do a better job!)
Word Up – Korn covers Cameo (word up indeed)
Bizarre Love Triangle – Stabbing Westward covers….I fogot who did this originally
Come Sail Away – Me First and the Gimme Gimmes cover the 70s song
Complicated – Ben Gibbard (of Death Cab) covers Avril Lavigne. One of the best covers ever.
Call Me – I Am The World Trade Center Cover Blondie
Yesterday I went to Northampton to see a Rilo Kiley and Nada Surf show. It was so lovely seeing live music once again. I even had my own indie rock boy toy as an accesory (aka Brandon). However, we did realize that we are getting older because:
-Our feet were killing us from standing- why aren’t there more seats at shows?
-The show was loud, but not in a good way- the soundboard did a poor job of mixing the bass/vocals
-Encores are annoying- we know you’re coming back out, so why not just play through so we can all get home by our bedtime?
Yikes, I’m almost middle aged. Soon I am going to be buying 3 albums a year, one of them being U2 or Rob Thomas. If you see that happening, but me out of my misery.
It’s no secret that I love animated gifs. Especially when they show Tom Cruise acting like just like me.
I plan to be holed up in my cocoon this weekend. I plan on catching up on sleep for the week and generally hiding from the throngs of alumni and parents that are here for commencement.
To do list for this weekend:
- read Haunted
- read Magical Thinking
-listen to the new White Stripes album (that right, I got myself an advance copy, suckas)
-listen to the Hold Steady's Separation Sunday
- listen to my new discography of Spiritualized albums
- perhaps start watching Star Wars episodes 1, 2, and 4-6 and try to get into it
-decide what I want to do for the rest of my life
Some interesting pictures:
"You are such an amzing actor!" "No, you're amazinger!"
Ew, photos from the movie Rent. Rosario Dawson is getting on my nerves. They used the original cast, but replaced only the Mimi character with someone well-known. I wonder how the person who plays her feels. Anyway, this is obviously the "La Vie Boheme" scene. How soooo 1996.
What the HELL happened to Roger?
Welcome to lamesville. And by that I mean I will probably see it on opening day. I hate myself.
Check out this email. I just soiled my shorts:
We are pleased to announce that we have just finished recording our second
album which will come out in the US this August on RCA. We will be touring again
in September. Stay tuned for the UK release date and touring plans coming soon.For those of you in NYC, we will be debuting our new songs under the
name The Ligers this Friday (5/20) at The Bowery Ballroom. It is a party called
NY2LON including The Hong Kong, The Ordinary Boys and Amusement Parks on Fire. http://www.ticketweb.comWe will be re-launching http://www.stellastarr.com on July 1st. Check out the messageboard over the next couple weeks for show updates, studio footage, and audio streams from our new album.
Looking forward to seeing everyone again…
Stellastarr*
Ewan MacGregor and hayden Christiansen make out. In real life.
Summer has started and it doesn’t feel like it. I need to reprioritize my activities. I really need to write more reviews, because the more I do it the easier it will come. I am also going to take another acting class this summer because the one I am currently taking is not really doing it for me anymore.
I have been watching Entourage and I am not quite sure if I like it. Something about it bothers me, and I can’t quite place it.
Going to see Revenge of the Sith tomorrow along with everyone and their mother.
Something I have wanted to do forever is catalog all of my albums. And now, that dream has become a reality. Thanks to some cool software, I've been able to put it in list form. Please look at:
My eyeballs are falling out from inputting all that.
I put this picture of these coked-out sluts on my fridge for some "thin"spiration.
So, it’s time for another mix. I decided to find the feminist that has been hiding inside me and give out shout out to the ladies (ya know what I mean sisterfriend?) and do a mix of my favorite tracks with female vocals. It’s sad that I have to call attention to it, but rock music is male dominated and female rock singers are inevitably judged in terms of their gender, whereas the make singers are treated as the norm. Yea, but anyway, here it is. Click the link and download the Mp3.
Elastica – “Line Up”
Saw them at my first Lollapalooza!
get it here
Heart – “Never”
get it here
Garbage- “Push It”
God, they used to own. Until they sucked. Here is the best pop-electro-rock whatever.
get it here
Evanescence- “Going Under”
Yes, you love them and you know you have a crush on Amy Lee. or, maybe I am just projecting.
get it here
The Raveonettes- “Chain Gang Of Love”
get it here
Sons and Daughters- “Medicine”
is it country? Is it folk? Don’t know. Does it rock? Yes.
get it here
Pretty Girls make Graves- “If You Hate Your Friends, You’re Not Alone”
One of my favorites. Sounds like Fugazi meets Les Savy Fav with a female singer.
get it here
Visqueen- “Zirconium Gum”
They’ve been called the new Ramones. I call them good.
get it here
The Von Bondies- “No Sugar Mama”
A great blues-y band, and sometimes they let the guitarist sing.
get it here
Rilo Kiley- “My Slumbering Heart”
How can this list exist without some Rilo?
get it here
Letter to Cleo- “Awake”
A perfect specimen of mid-nineties loveliness.
get it here
Rainer Maria- “Breakfast of Champions”
A poor woman’s Rilo Kiley. The singer always sings out of tune.
get it here
The Pixies- “Gigantic”
Kim Deal is a goddess.
get it here
Sahara Hotnights- “With Or Without Control”
get it here
Ladytron = “Seventeen”
You all know how I feel about Ladytron.
get it here
Le Tigre – “The Empty”
back when Le Tigre was good, before major labels, they made angry-ass music you wanted to play at top volume.
get it here
Tilly and the Wall = “You and I Misbehaving”
All the hipsters in Brooklyn came together to form this band.
get it here
Vengaboys- “Boom Boom Boom Boom”
Easily the best Eurotrash song. Ever.
get it here
The Corrs – “Breathless”
I am 45 years old.
get it here
Samantha Fox= “Touch Me”
I didn’t need a sex talk or health class, I had Samantha Fox albums.
get it here
The Kills- “I Hate the Way You Love”
God, the Kills are so coked out.
get it here
The New Pornographers – “Letter From an Occupant”
It is biologically impossible for the NPs to write a bad song. They are indie rock’s answer to Elton John.
get it here
Sneaker Pimps- “Low Place Like Home”
Sooooooo 1997.
get it here
Destiny’s Child/ Stevie Wonder – “Bootystition”
It sounds like this was made purposely, to be the best dance song ever.
get it here
Dar Williams- “Iowa”
This song makes me bawl, totally reminds me of my time in Andover,
get it here
Blonde Redhead- “Misery Is a Butterfly”
get it here
Advance copies of Lunar Park are showing up on ebay. Shall I dare?
Jani Lane from Warrant is in the next Celebrity Fit Club. How weird. I remember an obsession with then in the seventh grade, and singing "Cherry Pie" in my head all day at school.
Pitchfork does a great job of echoing my sentiments about the new Weezer album. They gave it a 0.4 out of 10. I've decided that it just doesn't exist and will never speak of it again. Let me cling to the memories of Pinkerton.
If you're one of those poor souls who while away the day job by keeping a scorecard of music review sites, there's one thing you already know: There are two distinct groups of bad albums. The more prevalent kind is the fodder that fills a critic's mailbox, bands with awkward names and laser-printed cover art that don't inspire ire so much as pity. The second group is more treacherous: Bands that yield high expectations due to past achievements, yet, for one reason or another, wipe out like "The Wide World of Sports"' agony-of-defeat skier.
Often, these albums are bombarded with website tomatoes for reasons you can't necessarily hear through speakers: the band changes their sound and image to court a new crossover audience, perhaps, or attempts a mid-career shift into ill-advised territory. Or maybe they start writing songs about Moses in hip-hop slang. But sometimes the bad album in question is none of the above; it doesn't offend anyone's delicate scene-politics sensibilities or try to rewrite a once-successful formula in unfortunate ways. Sometimes an album is just awful. Make Believe is one of those albums.
Weezer have been given a lot of breaks in their second era– both The Green Album and Maladroit were cut miles of slack despite consisting of little more than slightly above-average power-pop. The obvious reason for this lenience has to do with the mean age of rock critics, and the fact that most of these mid-20s scribes were at their absolute peak for bias-forming melodrama when The Blue Album and Pinkerton were released. Even for someone like me, who came late to the Weezer appreciation club, it was impossible to hear these "comeback" albums without the echoes of the earlier alt-rock pillars ringing in our ears.
But now there's an antidote to that nostalgic interference. Right from the start of Make Believe, when Weezer lurches into a flaccid take on Joan Jett's "I Love Rock N' Roll" with an unfathomably horrible speak/sing vocal from Rivers Cuomo (think "I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch"), you can hear hundreds of critics mouthing "no no no" and going into crumpled shock. What's more disconcerting is that the song gets worse over the course of its three minutes (let's just say "Framptonesque voicebox solo" and get back to repressing the memory)– and it's the album's first single.
Hearing a song like "We Are All on Drugs", which nicks the classic melody of the schoolyard "Diarrhea" song (you know, "when you're sliding into first…" and so on) for an anti-drug message stiffer than Nancy Reagan's "Diff'rent Strokes" cameo, it calls into question whether The Blue Album was really that great, or whether it just stood out as a rare beacon of guitar pop in a grunge-obsessed era. Trying to wrap your mind around the land-cliché-record lyrics of songs like "My Best Friend" and "Haunt You Every Day" leads me to wonder how Pinkerton could ever have seemed like such a cathartically resonant treatise on unrequited love. Was Rivers Cuomo always on the notebook-scrawl level of "I don't feel the joy/ I don't feel the pain," and did we not notice because scrawling in notebooks was the depth of our emotional knowledge at the time?
Okay, let's not be so hard on ourselves here: I'm pretty sure this is all Rivers' fault. Pinkerton triumphed by being an uncomfortably honest self-portrait of Cuomo. On Make Believe, his personality has vanished beneath layers of self-imposed universality, writing non-specific power ballads like he apprenticed with Diane Warren, and whoah-oh-ohing a whole lot in lieu of coming up with coherent or interesting thoughts. Coupled with his continued obsession with tired power chords and bland riff-rock (surprisingly not sonically boosted by producer Rick Rubin, whose post-"99 Problems" grip on relevance is now officially spent), the creative driving force behind the Weez is asleep at the wheel.
Considering Weezer supposedly went through hundreds of songs and several discarded albums to arrive at this final product, the laziness of this songwriting borders on the offensive. Whether recycling dynamics from the band's back catalog (see: "Perfect Situation") or taking the easy Mother Goose rhyme (see: every fucking song here), these 12 tracks sound as if they were dashed off in an afternoon's work, maybe with Rubin holding the band at gunpoint. The one half-decent song on the record, "This Is Such a Pity", fails to even maintain its status as a pleasant Cars homage, interjecting a guitar solo that sounds like it was cut from the original score to Top Gun.
So does Make Believe completely ruin not just present-day Weezer, but retroactively, any enjoyment to be had from their earlier work? I don't know– I'm too scared to re-listen to those first two albums– but it certainly appears that Make Believe will expertly extract the last remaining good graces the critical community has to offer latter-day Weezer, unless my colleagues' memories of slow-dancing with Ashley to "Say It Ain't So" are more powerful than I can possibly imagine. Of course, if Ashley went on to break your heart, fellow critic, Make Believe might be just the medicine you need; put it on repeat and watch your emotional scar be obliterated as collateral damage in the torpedoing of Weezer's legacy.
Where the hell have I been? Nick Hornby has a new book coming out in two weeks.
In his trademark warm and witty prose, Hornby follows four depressed people from their aborted suicide attempts on New Years Eve through the surprising developments that occur over the following three months. Middle-aged Maureen has been caring for her profoundly disabled son for decades; Martin is a celebrity-turned-has-been after sleeping with a 15-year-old girl; teenage Jess, trash-talker extraordinaire, is still haunted by the mysterious disappearance of her older sister years before; and JJ is upset by the collapse of his band and his breakup with his longtime girlfriend. The four meet while scoping out a tower rooftop looking for the best exit point. Inhibited by the idea of having an audience, they agree instead to form a support group of sorts. But rather than indulging in sappy therapy-speak, they frequently direct lacerating, bitingly funny comments at each other–and the bracing mix of complete candor and endless complaining seems to work as a kind of tonic. Hornby funnels the perceptive music and cultural references he is known for through the character of JJ, but he also expands far beyond his usual territory, exploring the changes in perspective that can suddenly make a life seem worth living and adroitly shifting the tone from sad to happy and back again. The true revelation of this funny and moving novel is its realistic, all-too-human characters, who stumble frequently, moving along their redemptive path only by increments.
When did he get so dark and depressing? Not that I am complaining.
Back by popular demand, I have a new mix for you. This is just some tracks that have really been rocking my socks lately. The link for each one will allow you to download the mp3.
The Rapture- "Out of the Races and On To the Tracks". I can't stop listening to this. You might remember it from Rules of Attraction.
http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1YLMGCR16MO8V1YWD4C8TFB816
Ben Gibbard (of Death Cab) covering Avril lavigne's "Complicated". It's actually a good song…
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3M4OZ5ZLFRLPO017BTFT6O10F
The new Pornographers- "Twin Cinema". This is from their new album, and oh my god, it owns. Can't wait for this one.
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=341WJNLH7FWB01FXYP5YAXTSRB
The Dandy Warhols- "Hard On For Jesus". How can you not listen to a song with that title? And seriously, why have I just discovers the DWs?
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1VZ86KB72QNL305OHWTCYLDOUU
The Chemical Brothers- "Believe". This also features the singer of Bloc Party
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0MLZQW0DZO0T91VDGOZ0A4EYBW
The Raveonettes- "Somewhere in Texas". One of the best new songs from one of my favorites. This goes out to my favorite Texans, you know who you are.
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3946T717G1KPA08CN0KJBXWWAZ
Athlete- "Twenty-Four Hours"- indie rock power ballad.
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0WJOWC1SODMP01KBCNAFW5WQGO
Calexico- "Convict Pool". Really, I shouldn't like this band. Country and mariachi influences. Oh well.
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=24JNN4KWK098O0G0VWSL5RBRIK
The Comas- "Tonight on the WB"- this is a really new band, don't know much yet, but I think I like them.
>http://s30.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3VQYWFHNWC3Q52L76U9TO4XPT2
Also, I've recently acquired:
Ryan Adams, Cold Roses
The Comas, Conductor
The Detroit Cobras, Mink Rat or Rabbit
Sons and Daughters, Repulsion Box
Four Tet, Everything Ecstatic
I Am The World Trade Center, Tight Connection
oasis, Don't Believe the Truth
The Ponys, Celebration Castle
Sonic Youth, Sonic Nurse
Turbanegro, Party Animals
Xiu Xiu, La Foret
Jens Lekman, When I Said I wanted to be Your Dog
The Music, You Might As Well Try to Fuck Me
Antony and the Johnsons, I Am A Bird Now
So I discovered this place…it's called the library. It has all these books, cds, dvds, and magazines- and they let you borrow them! For free! In all seriousness, I haven't belonged to a public library since 1995. The one in my town is pretty nice- a good selection and a good atmosphere- it's in a converted church. I got and am currently reading Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, Slander, What It Means to Be a Libertarian, and College of the Overwhelmed.
Thanks Bren, for introducing me to Darth Vader's blog. Now another nonessential site that I have to check everday for updates. It's quite good though. Examples:
Today we put Captain Solo into the carbon freezing chamber, in order to test the system before capturing Luke Skywalker for delivery to my master, Sidious, on
Coruscant. Everything went swimmingly — the punk smuggler was put into perfect stasis. And people question the merits of human experimentation!"Well, `I'm off to the wop-wops," said Boba Fett genially as he stood beside me in the `carbon freeze chamber. He was looking forward to his reward from the Hutts. "Crash hot kai they have on Tatoonine," he said with relish. I had no idea what he was talking about so I just nodded. In front of the prisoners and the men I bid him farewell formally and he escorted Solo's carbon prison away. "Bounty
hunter," I said with a small bow.
—
Holy Force! I don't know what to say.I spoke with His Excellency today, and my world has come upsidown.
To put things in perspective: I was surprised when in a galaxy where all the gifted have been slain I found myself chasing down a snub fighter that I could barely see, lost in whorls of shimmering probability as loops of Force played over it. I was very surprised and chagrined when my Death Star was destroyed by its pilot, a callow youth. In the months that followed I pursued the Rebel Alliance around the galaxy, and so did my sinister agents. Their intelligence eventually bore fruit: they told me the name of the youth was Luke Skywalker, and I was shocked.
That is when I first started experiencing the malfunction in my left leg. I nearly fell over. Luke Skywalker?
Really. It is kind of pathetic when someone geta all worked up over a damn movie series. Er…
Short essays on favorite songs. This is the kind of stuff I wish I could write. Sigh.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/song/
Ok, last Harry Potter post for a while, I promise…but check out the trailer for Goblet of Fire. Brings a tear to my eye.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/harry_potter/thegobletoffire/
Oops, I lied, here is one more:
Really. I’m done. I promise.
I've posted some stuff:
http://www.silentuproar.com/news/individual.php?newsid=7731
http://www.silentuproar.com/news/individual.php?newsid=7730
So, after mentioning Interpol's video for "Evil", someone sent me some more info. The video was done by artist Charlie White.
If the video didn't keep you up at night, this collection of photographs will. Warning: not safe for work.
Well, the kids from the original IT Factor have been busy. Busy turning themselves into D-list actors. Katheryn Winnick, the annoying and slutty Canadian karate instructor, has landed the role of Ivana Trump in a made for tv movie. And, bless his heart, Nathan has landed the choice role in the straight-tp-video Cruel Intentions 3 along side Kerr "I'm Not Really Gay" Smith. Considering how awesome Cruel Intentions 2 was, I can see this one going far. Maybe I'll catch it when I am up in the wee hours of the morning watching Skinemax.
Now THIS is what I call a teaser:
Raise your hand if you remember Shakespeare's Sister. I'm creating a new playlist based on the single "Stay."
I love this picture. Hermione is all-knowing. The twins are a bit goofier-looking than I imagined. I can think of some other twins that could fill the role better.
From here:
WHAT I WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IF I WERE BILLY JOEL DRIVING TOWARD A HOLIDAY PARTY WHERE I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE A PIANO.
BY MICHAEL IAN BLACKI'm not doing it. I'm just not. I know I say the same thing every year,
but this time I mean it—I am not playing it this year. Seriously, how many times
can I possibly be expected to play that stupid song? I bet if you counted the
number of times I've played it over the years, it probably adds up to, like, a
jillion. I'm not even exaggerating. One jillion times. Well, not this year.This year, I'm just going to say, "Sorry, folks, I'm only playing
holiday songs tonight." Yeah, that's a good plan. That's definitely what I'm
going to do, and if they don't like it, tough cookies. It'll just be tough
cookies for them.But I know exactly what'll happen. I'll sit down, play
a few holiday songs, and then some drunk jerk will yell out, "'Piano Man,'" and
everybody will start clapping, and I'll look like a real asshole if I don't play
it.I wonder if they'll have shrimp cocktail.
Now that I think
of it, it's always Bob Schimke who yells out, "'Piano Man.'" He does it every
year. He gets a couple of Scotches in that fat gut of his, and then it's, "Hey,
Billy, play 'Piano Man'!" That guy is such a dick. He thinks he's such a big
shot because he manages that stupid hedge fund. Big deal. He thinks because he
used to play quarterback for Amherst that everybody should give a shit. I don't.
Who cares about you and your stupid hedge fund, Bob? That's what I should say to
him this year. I really should. I should just march right up to him and say,
"Who cares about your stupid hedge fund, you dick?" Let's just see what Mr.
Quarterback has to say about that. And I know he made a pass at Christie that
time. She probably liked it—that's probably why she denied it even happened.I'm such a loser.
Why do I even go to these parties? I mean,
honestly, how many times do I need to see Trish and Steve and Lily and that
creepy doctor husband of hers and all their rich Long Island friends? Although
that Greenstein girl is nice. Maybe she'll be there. What's her name—Alison?What if Alison asks me to play "Piano Man"? Then what? I've got to stick
to my guns, that's what. I'll simply say, "Some other time." Yeah, that's good.
Kind of like we're making a date or something. And then at the end of the night
when we're all getting our coats, I'll turn to her and say something like, "So
when do you want to get together and hear 'Piano Man'?" Oh man, that's really
good. That's so smooth. After all, how is she going to say no? She's the one who
asked to hear it in the first place! Oh man, Billy, that is just perfect.Maybe she'll say something like, "How about right now?" Yeah. And maybe
we'll leave together. I can drive her back to my place and I can play her the
stupid song and then maybe we'll do it. I'd really like to do it with that
Greenstein girl. How awesome would that be? Me leaving with Alison on my arm and
Bob's big fat stupid face watching us go. That would be too rich. I'd be real
nonchalant about it, too—"See you later, Bob."Who am I kidding? She'd
never go out with me. She was dating that actor for a while. What's his name?
Benicio? What kind of name is Benicio? A stupid name, that's what kind. Hi, I'm
Benicio. I'm so cool. I'm sooooo cool. I should start going by Billicio. I'm
Billicio Del Joelio. I play pianolo.Sing us a song, you're the piano
man …Oh great. Now it's in my head. Perfect. Now I have to walk
around that stupid party with that stupid song stuck in my head all night.Amherst sucks at football.
You know what I should do? I should
just turn this car around and go home. Just pick up the phone and call them and
tell them I ate some bad fish or something. Yeah, that's what I should do. This
party's going to suck anyway. By the time I get there, all the shrimp cocktail
will probably be gone anyway.What am I going to do? Go through my
entire life avoiding situations where somebody might ask me to play a song? I
can't do that. No, Billy, you've just got to grow yourself a sack and take care
of business. And if that loudmouth Bob Schimke requests "Piano Man," I just need
to look him in the eye and tell him I'd be happy to play it for him just as soon
as he goes ahead and fucks himself.Who am I kidding? Of course I'm
going to play it. I always play it. Probably the only reason half the people at
that party even show up is to hear me play "Piano Man." They probably don't even
like me. Not really. They just want to tell all their friends that Billy came
and played "Piano Man." Again. Like I'm the loser who's dying to play it.
Whatever.Fine. I'll do it, but not because they want me to, but because
I want me to. I'm not even going to wait for them to ask. I'm going to march
right in there and play the song and that'll be that. I'm not even going to take
off my coat first. Yeah. Let's see what Bob has to say about that. I might even
play it twice.
——
[I had just written this whole diatribe about my theory behind my chronic boredom but then didn't like the sound of it and it was nonsense anyway. I can't fully express my thoughts about this now. So it was deleted and saved for later use.]
Blade Trinity was weak.
I need to get the new one from The Hold Steady. Anyone have it?
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/h/hold-steady/separation-sunday.shtml
Some stuff coming out soon I am excited about:
I Can't Stand it When Jews Talk During Movies
By Dana Healy
Do you have a pet peeve—some little thing that drives you completely bonkers? For certain people, it's the sound of a Jewish person dragging her fingernails across a chalkboard. For others, it's when Jews don't signal before making a turn. Me? I can't stand it when Jews talk during movies!
Last Friday, I knocked off early from work and headed to the multiplex to catch The Pacifier. Sure enough, as soon as the lights go out, a pack of Jews waltzes in and plunks down right in front of me! All through the first preview, they had to have a Jewish debate about where to put their coats and who should hold the Twizzlers. What's wrong with these idiots? If you want to chat, go to a coffee shop, or that Jewish community center down on Cavendish Avenue.
Where did these people learn to whisper? An Israeli helicopter? I sure didn't pay $10 to listen to a group of twits talk back to the screen like those obnoxious Jewish robots from Mystery Science Theater 3000! And apparently, "God's chosen people" weren't selected based on their ability to follow plotlines. No wonder they wandered the desert for so many years—they can't even watch a Vin Diesel movie without getting lost. It would help if management took stronger action against this total lack of regard. A sign saying, "Jews: Kindly refrain from talking during the film" couldn't
hurt. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. That theater was as loud as an
Elders of Zion meeting. Is it asking too much to expect a little courtesy from
your fellow moviegoers? I guess some people just weren't raised gentile.
Look, I enjoy eating popcorn while taking in a flick, but at least I have
the presence of mind to keep my munching to a conscientious level. Sometimes it
feels like I'm the only one who wasn't raised in a barn where special precautions are taken to slaughter livestock in accordance with Jewish laws and
traditions.
If you can keep kosher, why can't you keep quiet?
And how many times can these descendants of Abraham possibly need to use the washroom? If you have to go that often, sit near an aisle and leave the middle seats for those of us who aren't circumcised. You guys may not believe in the doctrine of
original sin, but everyone agrees that failing to turn off your cell phone before the movie starts is just plain rude! I swear, the next time a phone goes off, someone's getting a yarmulke shoved down his throat.
If there were some other way to see movies, I'd do it. I've tried renting movies, only to have the film interrupted midway through by a Jewish telemarketer or the sounds of the Jews upstairs blasting their rap music. I can only imagine what that guy with the fiddler on his roof went through. It's the Jewish year 5766, for cripes
sake! It's time to learn some courtesy.
Thank you Erin for pointing me to this gem.
Last night while doing some stuff I popped Moulin Rouge into the dvd. I just wanted to emphasize how much that movie owns. Gets me every time. Can there be a stage version, please? Can they remake Phantom of the Opera and this time cast Ewan McGregor?
I also went crazy with some stencils, fabric markers, and old t-shirts and had some pretty cool results. Perhaps I will put up some pictures later.
Today at work is the big end of the year event where everyone gets wasted and beligerent out on the hill. However, Deerhoof will be performing so I can’t complain much.
Listening to some rad stuff, like
Architecture in Helinski
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/a/architecture-in-helsinki/in-case-we-die.shtml
and the new one from The Ponys
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/p/ponys/celebration-castle.shtml
Caribou: The Milk of Human Kindness
http://pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/c/caribou/milk-of-human-kindness.shtml
There is some really important stuff that you need to know:
I have a toofache. I hate this! You know when it starts throbbing, and you know you will eventually have to go see a dentist and get a root canal etc. but you are still in denial? And then it flares up so much you can barely stay conscious? Fuck.
I went to Dick’s sporting goods today to buy a volleyball net (don’t ask) and gagged when I walked by the hunting and gun section which was half the store. The cashier asked me if I wanted to apply for a frequent shopper card. I should have just said no and let it be the end of it, but I had a some temporary diarreaha of the mouth and babbled on how I never really shop here, what I was buying was not for me, it wasn’t my money etc. “oh”, the cashier said, “I asked you because usually women like to shop a lot.” Can everyone boycott this place now? Fuck.
I saw Hitchhiker’s Guide the the Galaxy this weekend and was extremely…underwhelmed. It was clever, some funny lines, but I felt like a chunk of stuff was missing. it is the first time I ever wanted a movie to be longer. I’m a lil embarassed because there were some elements of the plot that I seemed to have missed. And seriously, why does Zooey Deschanel keep getting work? Remember when I said she seemed a little…retarded? Not much has changed. She delivers all her lines in the same slurring way. She seems to have gone to the same acting school as Natalie Portman and Jennifer Connelly.
I also watched Stage Beauty, which I had high hopes for. Turned out it was like a shitty straight-to-video Shakespeare in Love. Ok, and I’ll say it: Claire Danes has a busted grill. And didn’t she already know she can’t do Shakespeare? Anyway, the whole movie was about actors, but the ironic thing was that the acting was quite awkward. Even Billy Crudup as effeminite bisexual didn’t make the movie any better. This could have been so good! Fuck.
So, anyway, I seem to be the only one annoyed by Claire Danes, because now she will be in the movie version of Steve Martin’s book Shopgirl. Shit, this book was insignificant. And now Steve Martin has to star in it and schtup a young actress. I smell vanity project. And shitty movie.
Ok, I don’t know what Ian Thorpe does when he is not swimming, but apparently it is getting mohawks and rattails.
June 14: New season of Reno 911.
So, next Sunday, ABC will be showing The Prizoner of Azkaban and will also give a sneal preview of the Goblet of Fire movie. I will be wearing diapers while I watch it.
The horn-tailed something-something. Snore.
Something in the water- the second task maybe?……..
Ok, yes, this has to be the second task. Hot!
Hermione, all gussied up for the Yule Ball. Where’s that hottie Viktor?
Oh, there he is, putting his name into the goblet. I spot Ron off to the right.
Dammit, I really want to spend money, but I am trying not to. Anyway, here is some crap I want but really don’t need:
(It’s a hoodie for ipods…eeeeee!)
Matt Mulkey is leaving People For the American Way! It’s the end of an era! Funny, I was there for about 9 months, and I cannot imagine the organization continuing without me and my crew and my team of interns. But for someone like Matt, I was a simple blip in the whole history of the place. And what a nine months those were.
Speaking of which, The Onion A.V. Club has an interview with Noraml Lear, my old ‘boss’. Of course he doesn’t mention the ‘Way.
http://www.theonionavclub.com/feature/index.php?issue=4117
Remember Erin’s roommate Cesar? Well, apparently he will be starring in Take Me Out at the Studio Theatre. And gets very, very naked. Get me a ticket. If you know what I mean. Because I don’t.
An old friend from DC contacted me after she saw this band called Nineteen Forty-Five and the singer reminder her of me. Ok, well, hmmmm. Firstly, why is there a band that exists that I have not heard of? I guess it is better than looking like the fucking bassist of the Good Dolls, HUH RUTH?
I’m listening to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, not the musical, but from the recent movie. And it just sounds a little…off.
I’m curious as to what Onnie thought of it. of course, I only communicate with her passively through our blogs, so let’s hope that she reads this.
The Dairi Burger The Ingalls are better than you. Perv Out
