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I rarely remember my dreams, and rarely so vividly. I wish there was a device that would record my dreams and burn it onto a dvd. Well, this isn't the Jetsons, so that is not going to happen anytime soon.

But anyway, I got invloved in this group of friends, led by someone who looked somewhat like Reese Witherspoon, and I ended up getting brainwashed Patty Hearst style into causing mayhem all over town (a suburban town at that). We terrorized a high school, breaking stuff and spray-painting vulgar, radical feminist messages everywhere. (Just so you know, the other members of this group included Erin, that guy Jason Lewis from Sex and the City, and my coworker Brandon. Yea we were pretty hardcore). The leader of our group was a woman who was a cross between Reese Witherspoon and some woman I met at a recent conference. Our last straw was when we decided to trash the local Filene's basement by hurling things off shelves and hangers (for some reason, in the context of my dream, that was badass, I swear). I hatched this amazing plan by pretending to be a stockperson and escaping the store when the police arrived. But when I ran outside, I realized I forgot where I had parked, so I ended up getting arrested anyway, along with the leader of the cult and some other guy, who was apparently my boyfriend (barely remember him from the dream). So, my boyfriend, who was a highly revered figure within the cult, was sentended to death by way of electric chair, and the cult leader and I were handcuffed to each other, and brought to a rehabilitation center.

This center was run by a kind and dedicated psychologist, who in my dream was played by a former supervisor of mine. We had a very Lifetime movie moment where we had these huge breakthroughs where I resisted but he helped me through it. Meanwhile, about several days later, the cult leader (Reese) and I realized that the handcuffs were not even locked, and she went to escape, but I refused. I guess I had been "transformed" and "cured". She accused me of going mainstream, and that it wouldn't last long, and that I would be begging her to let me back into the cult. I kept insisting I had changed, that I had been cured, all due to the kindness of my rehabilitator psychologist. Anyway, she bolted.

Since I had been doing great in my recovery, I was offered the chance to go back in time and erase what had happened, but live a different life. So I chose to go back and be a teacher in the high school I had once terrorized. So I'm now there and other members of the cult were there and also teachers at the school. Erin, I think you taught gym. And apparently my boyfriend was alive and well and teaching history (you'd think I care that he was alive again). So everything is good, until Erin and I realized that the high school has fake walls, and behind it we see the raunchy feminist graffito, but disguised with a new wall facade. Zing! We hadn't gone back in time at all! My kind psychologist had tried to create a fake reality for us! When I thought I was being deprogrammed, he had brainwashed into thinking we were in an alternate reality! Zing!

So that caused us to turn back into the crazy cult gang again to hunt him down (this consisted a lot of running through the streets looking for him, which will probably be edited from the film version). Finally we enlisted the help of an expert investigator, who I believed was played in my dream by Phillip Seymor Hoffman. So then together we tracked down the original psychologist and got our revenge. We all tried to pretend we lived normal lives and weren't in a cult, so we went around trying to do "normal person" activities but got all twitchy and had withdrawal like we were drug addicts or something. I had just decided to succumb to my urges to live as a cult member when some asshole freshman was screaming outside my window at 8 in the morning from his walk of shame.

So, pretty amazing, huh? This definitely sounds like the film version could be directed by either Larry Clark or Michel Gondry. Erin would play herself obviously, Jason Lewis could play himself, and I am thinking Daniel Radcliffe can play Brandon, and maybe Kate Winslet will play me.

Anyway, I wonder if one were to analyze this, what it would mean. Do I have an underlying desire to belong to a cult? Does my trashing of Filene's basement respresent my frustration with society's current obsession with consumerism? The possibilities are endless.

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