some movie news

Well, musicals are kind of hot right now. Tim Burton will direct Johnny Depp in a musical version of Sweeney Todd, which makes me dribble a little bit. But can he sing? I don’t think so. Now, only if Kate Winslet is cast as Mrs. Lovett, my prayers will be answered. Zac Efron, the cute Jewish boy from High School Musical, will star as Link in the movie version of the Hairspray musical. But can he sing? Apparently not- his voiced was digitially altered in High School Musical. Jeff Buckley biopic is also in the works. Who will star in that? The possibilities are endless. I say Ewan MacGregor. But they will probably cast Jared Leto or some shit like that.

I also recently rewatched Shakespeare in Love and coincidentally watched the recent version of the Merchant of Venice and I thought, what has my boyfriend Josepeh Fiennes been up to lately? Well, supposedly he shies away from films instead favoring stage plays. Well! Excuse us! Apparently, he feels that playing a child molestor in the upcoming Running With Scissors and starring in The Darwin Awards with Winona Ryder, about how people die in really dumb ways are good choices for practicing his craft. Good choices, idiot.

gayer than a Clay Aiken Christmas special

Heh. I am still kind of upset about Superman Returns. However, this made it not so bad:

KEVIN SPACEY: The campest Lex Luthor ever, full of queeny lip curls and bitchy sarcasm.
Rating: GAY GAY GAY

PARKER POSEY: Steals every scene she’s in in a whirlwind of fur and pearls, with a fluffy Pomeranian clutched permanently to her breast.
Rating: PRETTY DAMN GAY

BRANDON ROUTH: Never mind speculation over the actor’s sexuality; visually the new Superman is the queerest thing this side of Krypton. With thick foundation caked on his chiseled face and cheap blue Claire’s Accessories contact lenses (this movie has the NASTIEST makeup), you half expect Superman to get frosted highlights in his trademark black lacquered hair at any moment.
Rating: GAYER THAN A CLAY AIKEN CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

THE BULGE: All post-movie talk was of the digitally de-bulged red Y-fronts, so expect “I’ve been digitally de-bulged” to become the new “it’s cold in here” for short-cocked men of the world.
Rating: DOES THIS YELLOW BELT LOOK TOO GAY?

VERDICT: Superman is gayer than your gay uncle in Gaysville. Go see!

Also, for you meganerds, here is someone who scientifically analyzed all of Superman’s powers.

bright lights big city

So a poll question: Is it ever ok to accept a job offer, then get another job offer that is better and take back the first job offer? We are talking about how the second job offer pays buckets more, and is obviously a hige step up from the first job offer. Is there ever a time when this is acceptable? Has this happened to you or someone you know?

No, I am not currently in this predicament (I wish I was) but this issue comes up a lot in my professional field and I know several people who have had this dilemna.

some irrelevant things

You know your week is going slow when you get excited about a new humidifier. Well you guys I really needed it and I think I filled it with liquid cocaine. I could just lay under it for hours. Plus it has a neon blue light in it so it looks like it spouts blue steam. It doesnt take much to get me entertained.

Ok and so this morning I realized I dress like an infant. In the summer 99% of the time I wear skirts, dresses or skirts with leggings and my flats or my fucking awesome Chucks. That means I haven’t operated a zipper, button, or shoelace on myself in weeks. I find this kind of creepy and sad. Pretty soon I’ll be wearing:

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(Those pics were dedicated to Mr. Rekab.) Oh what else? I started watching I, Claudius and Carnivale. And I just got the new Jay McInernery book.

That and I am basically having my quarter life crisis. But you’ll have to wait a bit for more of my prvileged whining soon.

offensive material is not offensive when it is witty.

This gave me probably the only laugh I will have of the day. Some people are offended by this type of humor. And that annoys me. Sometimes dealing with the horrible and unimagineable is easier to deal with when satire is involved. That’s why I joke about suicide all the time. Ha ha ha people. Anyway,
Somilia Beats Rwanda to Win Third World Cup. (from The Onion)

Sudan, Somalia

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oldie

The Ramones, “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg (My Brain is Hanging Upside Down)

That is one helluva title. I don’t know what it means. If you have not heard of the Ramones, you must be some kind of moron. I don’t expect everyone to fully understand their social impact on modern rock music, but hey, you can’t all be geniuses like me. The Ramones, as you all know, are famous for their simple, three-chords-or-less punk songs. This one is actually one of their more layered and musically perfected tracks. It was used most recently (and most awesomely) in School of Rock.

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This is a mega-oldies post. I came across the Four Tops Greatest Hits and have been listening to it to try and pretend that it fits my upbeat, dancy mood. You’ll notice that my blog currently is titled after one of their hits. Unfortunately, I named it after listening to the Pietasters covering the Four Tops. Anyway, enjoy.

The Four Tops, Greatest Hits

best of youtube

1. In keeping with the stuff I have subjected myself to lately, a video simulation of what would happen if the earth was hit by a large asteroid. Pretty killer.

2. Kittens starting to walk. Squish!

3. “Wise Up” from Magnolia. One of the best cinematic sequences ever filmed.

4. Star Wars nerds fight back.

5. Gay marriage leads to animal marriage.

5. Anderson Cooper on The Daily Show. Is that giggling?

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is this getting out of hand?

Ok, so remember the band, Harry and the Potters? Their music was bad, their kitsch and enthusiasm was high. I just got an album from Draco and the Malfoys. I just listened to “My Dad is Rich, You’re Dad is Dead”. They are a bit more musically advanced than the Potters, but the fact that they are actually trying to be musically savvy is questionable. Here is the tracklisting:

1. Potions Yesterday
2. My Dad Is Rich
3. Pansy (You Are The Girl Of My Dreams)
4. I Couldn’t Kill Albus Dumbledore
5. Your Family Is Poor
6. Broomstick
7. Why Won’t You Shake My Hand?
8. Voldemort Is Awesome
9. Tom Felton’s Kinda Hot
10. 99 Death Eaters
11. In Which I Kick Harry Potter In The Face
12. Hippogriffs Deserve To Die

Hmmm, not as creative. Maybe a song about Pany Parkinson? Or the broken wooden cabinet? Or maybe even about Quidditch or Crabbe and Goyle? Lwt’s get a little more creative, fellas. I hear there is even a band now called Hermione and the Grangers, with a song called “I Read It in Hogwarts, A History“. I think I am going to start a band called Neville and the Longbottoms. Our hit singles will include “My Parents Are In the Looney Bin”, “I’m Awkward”, and “I Like Gillyweed”.

Also, two kids will die in the next book.

another one

Moby featuring Gwen Stefani, “Southside

Remember when Moby was good. Wait, that was never. I’ve always hated his “look at me, I an awkward nerd, but that makes me cool” look. The only thing he ever did that was good was when he collaborated with the goddess Gwen.

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greenhouse affect

I caugh An Inconvenient Truth. I’m surprised it was playing around here. Of course, it affected me, and of course I believe that global warming is a huge problem, whenever I see a set of statistics presented to me in a pretty powerpoint formation, I am always doubtful. Because statistics can be manipulated every which way to fit a thesis. However, there of course was a lot of truth to everything in it, regardless if the stats were right on. I could have done without with “staged” interludes with Al Gore getting important phone calls and staring pensively out a car window. But, in my cynical view, I do believe he is one politician who is in politics for the right reasons. Whatever those reasons are. Basically what I got out of it was that we are totally fucked and now I am definitely not having children because they would be even more fucked. That and I definitely want to get a hyprid car.

I must be trying to push myself to be as depressed as possible. I’m still not under my Six Feet Under cryfest, and I watched Magnolia tonight. I can’t decide if it is the most pretentious vanity project ever or a work of extreme genius. Next up: Schindler’s List. No joke.