consumer reports

The Cribs; Mens Needs, Women’s Needs, whatever. The Cribs are like another version of The Libertines, The Holloways, Milburn, The View, and all those supposedly bratty British bands. There are no standout tracks yet, but I feel like if I listen to it enough it will grow on me. [actual release: May 21]

Listen to “Men’s Needs” / “I’ve tried Everything


—-

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs; Is is: Luuuurve the YYYs, their debut is one of my favorites of all time. Show Your Bones was a little disappointing, but based on the few songs on this EP, they’ve won me over all over again.[actual release: July 23]

Listen to: “Rockers to Swallow” / “10 x10



Everyone’s all abuzz about Bitten, which is Sarah Jessica Parker’s new clothing line. Ok, so I can appreciate her wanting to make affordable clothing, and she has also said that she wants women of all sizes to feel confortable, which I can appreciate, but I was in Dave and Barry’s the other day, and god, was the stuff GROSS. Sure, it’s cheaply made, but there were threads hanging off the hems, and the material was paper thin. It also looks like she raided the Joyce Leslie clearance rack from last summer for design ideas. Short sleeved blazers? Drawstring capris? Cropped hoodies? My sleepwear is more fashion forward. I can appreciate affordability, but SJP, don’t act like your stuff is so great when it could be found next to the Kathy Lee line at K-Mart.

…of the day

BLOG of the day

Bloggercat

SONG of the day

Screeching Weasel, “My Brain Hurts” because it does


NEW POP CULTURAL PHENOMENON THAT MES ME ILL AND MAKES ME HATE AMERICA AND ALL WE STAND FOR of the Day

The Age of Love

List: everything I’ve learned about San Francisco I learned from tv

In honor of my pending move to the SFBay Area, I have done my research and taken the time to learn more about what my life will be like there. Thank goodness for tv and movies that shows a realistic view of the city!

  • Full House: I will be running around Golden Gate park often, and everyone over the age of 30 works as a television morning show host.
  • Charmed: Magical powers and bare midriffs are all the rage.
  • The Sweetest Thing: There are tons of eligible STRAIGHT men all over the city.
  • The Princess Diaries: the kooky, alternative people live in firehouses.
  • The Wedding Planner….don’t even get me started.
  • 40 Days and 40 Nights: Josh Hartnett is horny and running around the city.
  • That’s So Raven: people are psychic. And sassy.

Wow, my life is gonna be awesome!

Rescue Me?

I’m halfway through the first season of Rescue Me. I have so many issues with the show, but I guess I am sucked in and will continue watching. There are elements of it that make it my favorite kind of show and others that make me loathe it.

So far, the awesome parts:

  • I think Denis Leary is fantastic. I’ve always appreciated his comedy and he is a decfent actor as well. His character blurs the line between protagonist/antagonist, and I like when shows do not have a binary good v. evil storyline. He does some heinous things, but is still likeable. As we know, I secretly love the manipulative, cocky characters (i.e., Gauis Baltar)
  • The show deals with the aftereffects of 9/11 without being preachy or saccharine, but more realistic.
  • Denis Leary’s character speaks with the dead, but in a good way that illustrates inner demons. It adds some great depth
  • The theme song is the Von Bondie’s “Cmon Cmon”. How can you beat that?
  • Tommy Gavin’s son Connor is played by Trevor Heins….you may recognize him as the Beat Kids reporter. Seriously, he needs more screen time.
  • The special effects are pretty well done.

Here’s what doesn’t sit right with me.

  • Some of the plotlines are very Melrose Place- one character finds out he has an illegitimate daughter, the father provides “comic relief” by always being in his boxer shorts on various party drugs.
  • The talk and comraderie in the house is part of the Entourage myth. Always super-macho, homophobic, etc. I also realize this is probably very realistic, but it still doesn’t sit right with me. The firemen are constantly getting laid, and approached by women all the time to have threesomes. Realistic? I am not sure. It kid of exists as the ultimate-male-ideal, kind of like how Grey’s Anatomy is for females.
  • Speaking of homophobia, it is RAMPANT. There are blatant instances of the characters gagging over mention of gay speak and one character was “tricked” into being physucally with a transgender person. I am not sure if showing incredibly homophobic characters shows the reality of what working in a ladder co. is like, or if it is to expose the rampant homophobia, or to market off audience members who are homophobic. I am not sure, but many parts make me physically cringe.
  • The women on the show are usually nymphomaniacal, unbalanced, promiscuous, clueless and easily manipulated. Yikes. There was a plotline where Denis Leary’s character was dating a women for over a month and didn’t know her name. Uh…funny?
  • There was a part in the recent episode where one of the (male) characters was tricked into having a threesome with a man and his girlfriend. The girlfriend first tied him up and then the man came in despite the characters protests. I think it was played as a comedic scene, but the bottom line is the guy was RAPED. He was physically screaming “NO!” and the part made me ill to watch. I thought they had redeemed themselves by then having that chaaracter come to his team and say he felt violated. I was all good…here’s a chance to explore it, but they told him to get over it and “stop being a pussy”. Wow, great.

Sooooooo, despite those issues, I do want to stick with the show because MAYBE down the road it will get better. I also like how nothing is clear cut. The characters make mistakes, can manipulate people, but they are still realistic and intriguing. The “good v. evil” storylines always bore me.


We’re gonna score tonight!

I was just informed that 25 years ago, Grease 2 was released. I have never seen a sequel shit on so much, when, in fact, it is pretty much the same thing as the original. Secret: I love this movie. When it is on tv, I sit glued to the tv. The acting was just as bad, the characters were basically the same, and the plot was just as stupid and unrealistic as the original. AND I am going to go ahead and say that the music was just as good, probably better, than the original songs. Yes, you heard that here. I know the original was based on an award-winning play and is obvi catchy, but lest we forget the bowling alley anthem “We’re gonna Score Tonight” or the fanstastic song done during the sex ed class? OR the song about Brad that those twins did during the talent show? I rest my case.

Someone with sliiiigggghhtly more time on their hands compiled some cool stuff about the movie, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Also, for viewing pleasure:

…of the day

WEIRD NEWS of the day….

Good Charlotte join Justin Timberlake on tour. I either loathe this idea or love this idea. I can’t decide which.

BLOG of the day….

The Saved By the Bell Blog

ALBUM of the day….

I just got a copy of The New Pornographers album. I am doing backflips. The record company is on a rampage, so I’m going to have to figure out another way to get this out. Stay tunes.

Asia Argento is a bad filmmaker.

As some of you know, The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things is one of my favorite novels. I was less than ecstatic when indie-hipster Asia Argento decided to make a film version. Finally saw it, and it was so pointless. The book is about extreme child abuse, but it is told in a way that the narrator makes excuses for his mother. The film did not portray this, and just ran as a straightforward narrative and seemed to be running off of shock value. It also seems like she wanted to make a movie to show off all her indie film friends. Plus, it starred the SPROUSE TWINS! Yes, those who star in the Disney Channel hit The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I wonder what their tween fans would feel if they knew their beloveds starred in a movie where they hang out in meth labs, dress in their mother’s clothes and prostituting themselves. A very special episode maybe?

Consumer reports

These are some “mainstream” upcoming releases that I have gotten my grubby little paws on.

The White Stripes; Icky Thump: As I predicted, this would be a standout album. Although they have proved that they can write slick, commercially appealing songs (like on Elephant) they really have a blues background. This album sounds like Jack and Meg’s hardcore jam sessions and I am okay with that. Comparitively to their other albums, this one sounds most like De Stijl. I am totally in love with this and although it may be a premature evaluation, this may be at the top of my best of the year list. [actual release: June 19]

Listen to “Rag and Bone”. This is def the standout track. Meg and Jack do a call and response (I love her voice) and then the signature guitar riffs and hard drumming. I’m currently listening to this on repeat. AW, IT’S LIKE A MANSION IN HERE!


Here’s another: “Catch Hell Blues



Kelly Clarkson; My December [ actual release: July 24] It’s no secret that despite my disdain for the mainstream, but I feel Breakway was a superb pop album. I think my copy of this album may be an unfinished demo, or maybe a version that is unmixed. Let’s hope so. None of the songs at this point jump out at me as memorable singles. Even the current “Never Again” isn’t wowing me. [The second I heard "Behind These Hazel Eyes" I knew it would one day be all over the radio]. Kelly has a great voice, but she seems to ready to jump into the “Since U Been Gone” formula, with a quieter verse and then a screaming chorus. [a technique Nirvana exploited their whole career, to much success] This puts a visible strain on her voice. My mother was a voice teacher, and I can hear her criticisms about KC’s singing: it’s more pop star singing than respectable singing. Here are the tracks that I think would make a good choice for upcoming singles.

How I Feel


Judas


Horrendous movie alert

Anyone see the trailer for the new movie Good Luck Chuck? Otherwise known as Wedding Crashers Employee of the Month Part 2?

Here’s what frustrates me about this the most:

  • It looks incredibly unfunny
  • Dane Cook probably put in his contract that he needs to show off his newly tones hairless chest in at least 40% of the scenes
  • It has the Entourage-esque masculine ideal fantasy, and comes off as incredibly misogynist and idiotic
  • It perpetuates the notion that overweight people are incredibly disgusting, stupid, and unattractive, and do nothing all day but stuff their faces and are deperate for a lay
  • The writers of the movie are buying into all of these gendered, misogynist views and exploiting them to make money for the movie
  • some people may actually find this movie funny
  • Jessica Alba has said repeatedly she wants people to start taking her seriously as an actress and to stop looking at her ass. Well, this seems the way to start. Good job, Jess.
  • I still find Dane Cook a tiny bit physically attractive and I hate myself for it.

This may rival Rush Hour 3 and Chuck and Larry as the most disgusting movies of the summer.

google street map offenders

Apparently the world is as obsessed with google street map view as I am. Someone compiled the top 15 Street view sightings. The guy scaling the fence. LOLZ!

Some other interesting stuff:
Time Out New York: Why the hipster must die
On Abortion, Hollywood Is No-Choice
Jason Behr is still getting work!
HP now makes a “slimming” digital camera. I am equal astounded by everything that is wrong with that as well as the sure genius of it.

Consumer Reports

Saturday looks good to me; Fill Up the Room: great indie pop. If the Beach Boys were making indie rock today, they would make this. [actual release: October 2007]

Listen to “Money in the Afterlife


Paramore; Riot: If you love the Warped Tour and read Emily the Strange, you’ll love it. If not, it’s obnox. [actual release: June 12]

Listen to “Let the Flames Begin


..of the day

LINKS of the day

More akward than Curb Your Enthusiasm…the Spelling Bee Winner gets interviewed on CNN. Long live Aspergers!

The CD store is dead!

“Guyliner” is the aquanet of the 00s.

—–

ALBUM/BAND of the day

Gogol Bordello; Super Taranta: Since the band Beirut, gypsy punk has been all the rage. Awesome! [actual release: July 10]

listen to “Tribal Connection


——-

song of the day

Haven’t done this officially lately, because I’ve been posting songs everyday, but this is a special occasion, because this is M.I.A.’s first official single from her new album.

M.I.A.; “Boyz

Also, BONUS! Especially posted for my brother: It seems this is the new version of the Transformers theme to be used in the new movie. I don’t know who sings it, but it kind of sounds like Linkin Park or Disturbed or some crap like that. .

Get Transformers


I am still hoping they use the Dirk Diggler/Chest Rockwell version of “The Touch”.  Speaking of, here’s the original to rock out to.

Get The Touch


Consumer Reports

WATCH: The new season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List on Bravo on Tuesdays.

Seriously, she is fucking hilarious. Forget that whole Suddenly Susan stint.

Architecture in Helsinki; Places like this:I just don’t get the appeal. Seams like they are being cooky for the sake of being cooky. Don’t bother. [actual release: August 7]

Listen to Feather in a Baseball Cap


Bad Brains; Build a Nation: You think I’d be excited that Bad Brains have actually reunited to produce a new studio album. For some reason, it’s better left in the past. Kids today don’t appreciate it. If you want to get into them, go to the older stuff first (Try I Against I). [actual release: June 26]

Listen to Jah People Make the World Go Round

Download:

Stereo Total: Paris <> Berlin: omg luuuuv them. It is a German synth-pop due that sings in both French and German. Much of the stuff makes you think you are in a uber-Eurotrash bar. But fantastic. [actual release: August]

Listen to Ta Voix au Telephone


Tiger Army; Music From Regions Beyond: The best of the psychobilly bands. Like the Lillingtons, they have a timeless sound that always is a throwback to its original form. And…. they’re from Berkeley! [actual release: June 5]

Listen to Lunatone


List: best movie makeover scenes

Thanks for John for the idea. I’ve checked with the judges, and this can also include shopping montages.

Coyote Ugly; “Forgive My Father, for I have sinned.”

She’s All That; Um, a riot would break out if I didn’t include this. I actually haven’t seen this in a while, but I know a red dress and a descent down the stairs happens.

Aquamarine; They have to sneak off to Tampa for this one. “I love vintage!”

Strictly Ballroom; How Fran went from a pock-mark freak to a dancing beauty in under 20 minutes is beyond me.

She’s The Man; Cross dressing is quirky! Look at me! I’m wearing a mustache! But I’m a GIRL! How crazy!

A Cinderella Story; Hilary Duff has it in her contract that she needs to have a requisite costume change montage.

Miss Congeniality: Oh Sandra, you’re so sassy. You told him…WAIT! Watch out for those heels!

The Princess Diaries: It taught us that curly haired girls are FUGLY and straight-haired girls are princesses. I think that’s veiled anti-semitism.

Grease: Uh duh. Why does Sandy need to be the one who changes?

Pollyanna: I was obsessed with this scene when I was younger. I wanted a sailor outfit with a hat with a pom pom on it. Instead I got an outfit from the Pretty Plus department from Sears.

Goblet of Fire: Hermione in pink! I never thought I’d live to see the day!

Earth Girls Are Easy: makeovers are not just for the gals! A surfer dude exists under all that fur!

She’s Out of Control: A whole movie whose BASIS is a makeover. I watched this incessantly and scrutinized every outfit. And I am ashamed to say, copied many of them in high school.

Clueless: yes I know you were all waiting for this one. Makeovers give Cher a sense of order in a world of chaos. And a fat Brittany Murphy a scene that will go down in our memories forever.

It’s like Sophie’s Choice

I’ve been asked to pick two of my favorite songs to contribute to a compilation cd of all my coworkers’ favorite songs. Cute, right? However, the decision has been giving me heart palpitations. I’ve settled on these, but I am sure to change my mind once the whole thing goes to press.

Erasure; “A Little Respect”

Nada Surf; “Bad Best Friend”

Great, I’ve already changed my mind.

I heart Mark Ronson

Uuuummm, I am kind of embarassed that I am obsessed with the new Mark Ronson album, Version. He is a producer/DJ and he made this album basically to brag about all his famous friends. He’s kind of like DJ AM, minus the gastric bypass. He produced this album of indie rock covers, all featuring some pretty notable people. I’m not gonna lie, it’s all I’ve been listening to. His first compilation, Here Comes the Fuzz, is pretty good too. Here’s my favorite tracks.

05-valerie-feat-amy-winehouse.mp3

11-the-only-one-i-know-feat-robbie.mp3

02-oh-my-god-feat-lily-allen.mp3

05-i-suck-feat-rivers-cuomo.mp3

Another bonus? He’s pretty smokin’ hot. Although he moved fron London when he was like three, so what’s with the accent?

Mazel tov!

I am doung a shout out, because two amazing people are starting new jobs today. And knowing that first days at new jobs are more akward than school dances, here is some stuff to read to appear being busy. My most awkward first day at work was at the ‘faw, because my boss had no idea how to supervise me or what to do with me. This actually continued through my whole time there. I digress. Here are some good reads for the day.

Andrew continues the quest for the best movie music moments, totally picking up my slack. How could I overlook “Anything Goes”?

Speaking of movie lists, here is 25 thoughts about upcoming summer movies and the similarities between Tony Soprano and Harry Potter.

Also, a critical analysis of the sure-to-be-awful The Starter Wife, from my new favorite blog.

Also, the great debate continues: Seth Rogan: Hot or Not? I think you know where I stand. (A lil NSFW)

Ok, let’s get serious. A look at standardized testing for children entering kindergarten.

Nation’s Leading Alarmists excited about bird flu.

A passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier: a day in the life.

Oldie but Goodie: Warrant


Warrant; Then, a tough leather-clad rock band; Now: a gay street gang

I often go through phases where I hate all the music I own and out of 30,000 tracks on my hard drive, I can’t find anything to listen to. I am kind of in that slump right now, so when that happens, I reach waaaaayyyy back to some older stuff just for a change. Doing this post started making me feel some nostalgia, so I dove into my early nineties metal collection. I am ashamed, some of it was beyond terrible (anyone remember the band Trixter? Anyone?) However, I luckily had some Warrant laying around. Hear me out. If you judge them WITHIN the context of the genre, it’s pretty catchy. I am sure you remember “Cherry Pie” their early nineties feminist anthem. That was actually not really a lot of their sound, I would say they were more pop-rock. And I am comfortable enough to say I can enjoy some quality pop rock (I secretly like the Gin Blossons, for christssake). So here’s what I have been rocking out to while I pack up my stuff. Don’t judge.

01-down-boys.mp3

12-mr-rainmaker.mp3

03-heaven.mp3

05-big-talk.mp3

07-cherry-pie.mp3

you know you are getting old when…

You finally realize that you are too old to watch MTV. I sat through the MTV movie awards, getting douchechills the whole time. I am seriously too old for this shit. Sarah Silverman was actually kind of funny. Although I am not a fan, I felt bad because her brand of humor went right over their heads and most of the audience sat there pretty dumbfounded. There were incredibly homophobic moments throughout, which is always amazing. Awesome. Rihanna did a performance and looked like shit. The whole thing was a huge commercial for the Tranformers the movie, which looks really dumb. The only highlights were Zac Efron looking cute and obviously being totally psyched to be there, Amanda Bynes looking like an orange hooker, Sascha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell making out, just as I had hoped for, Amy Winehouse giving a fantastic live performance of “Rehab”, and Johnny Depp proving he is the coolest mofo alive. I swear, he stopped aging at 32.

Ending with a bang? If you know what I mean

You may have heard this already, but…

Cult TV show Battlestar Galactica will end early next year, the program’s makers have confirmed. The final fourth season of the sci-fi show will be broadcast on U.S. cable network Sci Fi Channel from November. Executive producers Ronald Moore and David Eick released a statement, saying, “This show was always meant to have a beginning, a middle and, finally, an end. Over the course of the last year, the story and the characters have been moving strongly toward that end, and we’ve decided to listen to those internal voices and conclude the show on our own terms. And while we know our fans will be saddened to know the end is coming, they should brace themselves for a wild ride getting there – we’re going out with a bang.”

I think I’m okay with it. I’d rather have something end on a good note so I can remember it well, instead of burning out (Roswell, anyone?). It makes sense. The first season was them reacting to the invasion, the second season was fighting for survival, the third season was looking for earth, and the fourth season will probably be the battle for control over earth. I’ll just have to start writing LOTS of fanfic after it ends. Also, can the actors actually get some better roles, and not just on Canadian sci fi shows? Here is my wishlist for the fourth season:

  • Baltar and Roslin showdown- he will finally put her in her place while she sits there with her smug bitchface on.
  • Cally will grow her bangs out.
  • We will find out how Roslin and Baltar found a collection of well-pressed suits in a post-apocolyptic world.
  • We can see some gay people. I know they are out there.
  • Anders is training to be a pilot-let’s see some combat action. If you know what I mean.
  • I’d like to see Number Six showdown with a lot of the characters she has not interacted with before. She could make Lee cry in under one minute.
  • They could also explain how the cylons have a couture wardrobe.
  • Are they all still just eating algae?
  • There will be more episiodes where they just blow shit up the whole time.
  • We find out that Billy is not really dead! (Here’s hoping)

Essential Albums: Social Distortion

I haven’t done one of these in a bit. Social Distortion has an amazing sound, I guess you could call it rockabilly? I think this is what Johnny Cash would sound like if he decided to go in a heavier direction. Mike Ness, the main singer songwriter is a genius. The songs are pretty much punkish, but still have a strong melodic bass. The rhythm section is great, there is a constant full drumbeat and chord progression throughout every sone. They have been around since the late eighties, with their peak in the early to mid-nineties. Their latest came out in 2005, and personally I thought it was one of their best. It’s one of those bands whose albums sound similar to each other, but that is welcome because if it’s great, no need to fix it. Most of the bands popular today wouldn’t even exist if Social D was not around, and the influences are obvious. Good Charlotte thinks they sound like Social Distortion (bwah!) and even Green Day has taken a cue from them. Their album Between Heaven and Hell is considered their most consistent, so that whole album is here. I’ve also included some of their better tracks from other albums, which are also worth checking out. Even if you think you haven’t heard them before, I guarantee you’ve heard “Story of My Life” and “Ball and Chain”. They are always used in movies and commercials. Their cover of “Ring of Fire” is, dare I say, better than the original.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell (1992) (full album)

From Social Distortion (1990)

03-story-of-my-life.mp3 /05-ring-of-fire.mp3 / 06-ball-and-chain.mp3 / 02-let-it-be-me.mp3

From White Light, White Heat, White Trash (1996)

under-my-thumb.mp3 / dear-lover.mp3 / i-was-wrong.mp3

From Sex, Love & Rock N Roll (2004)

01-highway-101.mp3 / 05-nickels-and-dimes.mp / dont-take-me-for-granted.mp3

[More essential albums]