Essential Albums: Built to Spill

I think that Built to Spill INVENTED the catchy guitar hook. They have been around a while and basically influence every indie band out there. Choosing one of their albums is hard, but this release from 1999 seemed appropriate.

[BUILT TO SPILL; Keep it Like a Secret]

Wikipedia: Built to Spill

More ESSENTIAL ALBUMS

Celebrities I hate and why, part 2

If you don’t mind allowing me to continue my hate…

Cameron Diaz

Why? Laughing like an idiot and wiggling ass does not make a career.

Kate Hudson:

Why: smiling til your face falls off does not make a star. Plus, your foray into dumb chick flicks does not make you accomplished. The second you sat down to pee with a big Russian fur hat on in Almost Famous made me loathe you. In fact, I would have traded you for some beers in a poker game in a second. Plus, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days made me rip out my uterus and stomp on it. Plus, Owen Wilson over Chris Robinson? Wtf?

Natalie Portman

Why: Ahhhhh, the one I love to hate the most. This gal is so overrated it kills me. Firstly, she has this way of acting by gritting her teeth and talking without moving her mouth. Don’t believe me? Watch the Phantom Menace. Finally, Garden State is the root of all evils. If I were Zach Braff, the second I met her I’d want to punch her in the face, not fall in love. And no, no matter how many Oscar nominations it got, I am not convinced that you are a stripper that can snag Clive Owen. HATE!

There are also some former objects of my hate that have since convinced me otherwise. So Natalie, there is still hope for us.

Kirsten Dunst: I hated her forever (in the Bring It On Days) but Marie Antoinette made me love her! Good work Kiki!

Keira Knightley: Pirates annoyed the shit out of me, but Pride & Prejudice was fantastic.

Today’s theme is: cute

How Zac Efron became the cutest guy ever. Jeez, even Time is covering this phenomenon.

Orphaned hedgehogs adopt cleaning brush as their mother. Yes, you read that right. In other news, I’ve adopted my swiffer as my life partner.

hipster olympics

Genius. Just…genius.

call me a hipster if you need to, but

the new Beirut album is phenoms.

[The flying Club Cup] 

List: celebs I hate (and the reasons why)

For those of you that know me, I have immense, irrational hatred for certain actresses. Well, I hate some actors too (I’m looking at you, Richard Gere) but for some reason I save my hatred for the women, perhaps as some sort of internalized oppression or something. I’m not going to analyze it, but here they are so you can keep track.

Meghan Fox

Why? The second she got cast in Tranformers, she appeared in every men’s magazine rubbing her crotch everywhere. She also forgets her roots, which was starring in an Olsen twins movie (the one where they go on an island vacation or something). Also, she never closes her fucking mouth. It’s called breathing through your nose. Look into it.

Scarlett Johanson

Why: She is actual shitty actress and basically plays the same character in every movie. She talks about how she wants to be taken seriously as an actress and not as a sex symbol yet she takes very non-serious roles.Plus two words: the Nanny Diaries. ‘Nuff said.

Anna Paquin

Why: she was maybe good in the Piano, but get a grip on your career, woman. Playing a whore in Almost Famous didn’t help much. Plus, I hated Rogue so much in X-Men 3 I kind of blame her. Her method of acting is kind of a dead, emotionless stare.

Zooey Daschanel

Why: she always talks like she is stoned, no matter what movie and tried really hard to be kooky and kute. She basically ruined Weeds Season 2 for me.

Jennifer Garner

Why: tried to hard to be kute and kooky and always fails. And because she divorced Scott Foley- who would do that? And also because of the trout pout.

This is one of the most fun lists I’ve done so far! More to come…

Comsumer report

“Do these leather pants make my hips look big?”

Davey Havock, a punk icon, if I may, has really lost what little bit of cred he ever had with me by starting a side project with another band member no one cares about. [He has already started appearing on TRL and is about five minutes away from having his own line of safety pin earrings at Claire's] So, he started an electronic band names Blaqk Audio. No, that is not a typo. It’s just a qool way to spell it. I thinqk it is worse that the album is called Cex Cells. I am the grammar police, and I don’t liqe it one bit. What’s even worse: the band sounds like it is the headliner for Nylon’s nightclub in Bayonne, New Jersey. It’s so bad it’s worth a listen.

09-semiotic-love.mp3

03-snuff-on-digital.mp3

On the other hand, Bat for Lashes is pretty good. Don’t know much about her, but I’m liking it.

01-horse-and-i.mp3

04-whats-a-girl-to-do_.mp3

weekend links

Gay or High School Musical? Hard to tell sometimes.

There also seems to be myriad stories of cute animals in the news, and this baby Bengal tiger is no eception.

omg! Cute rump shot! Can’t. take. it.

What? More animals in the news? Apparently two turtles/tortoises (I never know the fucking difference) hang out at the museum of Natural History.

Also weird: redheads will be extinct in the next 100 years. Oh noes!

Jose Saramongo, albeit a genius, is a bit unbalanced.

Take that, Steve Jobs...a Jersey teen has hacked the iphone. I love this kid.

yay?

Apparently I live in the best city for singles. I should be excited about that…I think?

wow

I thought I was completely over reality tv, but how bad-ass does Kid Nation look? It’s so unethical it hurts.

The Hives

Thank god the Hives are still making music. Their new song makes me want to go on living.

thehives-ticktickboom.mp3

Thanks to Brian to alerting me to my favorite phenomenon…cross-species friendships. A rottie and kittens! CAN YOU TAKE IT?

Also interesting: this poverty map.

Even more interesting: the most densely populated city.

samesies

Finally saw Superbad, was pleasantly surprised.But oh my god you couldn’t pay me millions to go back to high school.

Michael Cera = adorable.

Seth Rogan as a cop = orgasmic.

What was with the women in this movie and their extreme annoyingness? And I wanted that one girl to push the fucking hair out of her eyes.

I usually don’t go around quoting movies, but I will start using “I’ll be there, full throttle…like Charlie’s Angels 2″ in my everday conversations.

Be kind, please Rewind

I heard about this Michel Gondry/Jack Black movie over a year ago and pissed my pants over it. Now that I see the trailer, it’s kind of a let down.

magick

I am loving the Klaxons’ video for their single “Magick”. Too bad I think this band is overrated.

Horrible or awesome

New pics from Dark Knight have surfaced, and I can’t tell if Heath Ledger looks awesome or ridiculous.

I can’t believe The Bachelor is still on.

The Bachelor’s own ‘McSteamy’ (a plug for the same-network show, Grey’s Anatomy) had a single-parent home upbringing, which instilled “a good work ethic, the importance of a stable family and the ability to be a good provider.” “These strong values, coupled with great looks and undeniable sex appeal, make him the perfect catch,” ABC gushed in the network’s press release.

I can’t live in a world where this show exists.

In other news, I now get BBC America. I’m never leaving the house.

mediocrity rules

If there’s something I hate, it’s mediocrity. Lately, some things I’ve watched/read have really let me down, considering I’ve had high hopes for it.

Weeds, Season 2.
Ugh, what happened? Season One was really a black comedy with some real feeling. You really sympathized with Nancy Botwin and there was great character development and somewhat realistic storylines. This season turned into some slapstick, set up “comedic” scenes that had no basis in reality. Characters were shallow and it was hard to connect with any of them or care about their story lines. Some were added for no reason at all other than to get some comedy including the incredibly fucking annoying Zooey Daschanel. The only one I still enjoyed was Justin Kirk because I enjoy his creepy/sleazy sense of humor. I am also becoming increasingly irritated with the depiction of the Black characters; as if their “sassy blackness” becomes the whole basis to their character. Characters that were interesting last year basically played no part (Sanjay?) in this series. I don’t like the direction this is taking and I don’t know how Season 3 is doing, but it really felt like a totally different show.

Rilo Kiley- Under the Blacklight
The new album from my favorite fucking band ever is abosultely terrible. Their first two albums were genius, More Adventerous was decent, this is elevator music, plain and simple. Ugh.

Zodiac
I love David Fincher movies. Scratch that. I love love love David Fincher movies (Fight Club, Seven, Panic Room, Madonna’s “Express Yourself” video). But why was this one so goddam boring? Sure, the murder scenes were creepy, but whu could I barely keep my eyes open? I think we’ve also seen Jake Gyllenhaal as the wide-eyed nubie a zillion times before. mark Ruffalo was just going throught the motions.

Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
Rob Sheffield write the way I think: memories are made from music, and listening to a certain song can take me back, and music is what defines memories for me. He uses mixtapes he found to remember old loves and times his life. I was looking forward to this forever, but god was it boring and whiny. I wonder why the hell he is a music journalist and not.

Interpol- Our Love to Admire
I am really trying to like this, but I think Interpol’s ship has sailed.

So this confirms my theory that I should always keep my standards rock bottom, so I will never be disappointed. However, some things I am looking forward to which I hope will not let me down:

Rome Season 2
The Gum Thief
How Indie Rock Saved My Life
The Boleyn Inheritance
Superbad

I am so in love…

…with my new shoes.

album that is blowing my mind right now

Matt and Kim- self-titles [git it] 

List: really really really bad movies. no, really.

I talk a lot of smack about things I don’t like, so I tried to come up with a definative list. I feel like I’m forgetting something.

John Tucker Must Die
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
The Saint
Just My Luck
Sugar & Spice
The Family Stone
Something’s Gotta Give
Elizabethtown
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
The Wedding Planner
The Wedding Date
Runaway Bride
Garden State
Running With Scissors
Inventing the Abbotts
Broken Hearts Club
The Last Kiss
Old School
City of Angels
Meet the Parents
Another Gay Movie
Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer

The Sprouse twins?

I’m sorry I haven’t updated recently, I really haven’t been myself lately.

The Ten

I caught a matinee of The Ten, and it might as well have been called Wet Hot American Summer 2.

It is the same writer/director and the same group of actors. Everyone included in The State/Reno 911!/Wet Hot posse, including a hilarious deadpan Paul Rudd, Thomas Lennon, Jason Sudeikas, Kerri Kenney, Mike Powers, Justin Theroux as Jesus Christ (DM), Liev Schreiber, and brief cameos by Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. Come to think of it, it was like all my celeb boyfriends in one movie. Also with a surprisingly hilarious Winona Ryder- where the hell has she been lately? Some of the stuff fell flat, other stuff was hilarious. The movie ran like a 90-minute episode of the State. So if you never found that or Wet Hot funny, this will seem entirely weird. Also, if you can’t laugh at a scene using prison rape as a punchline, then maybe it’s not for you. Also, if you have no appreciation for comedic delivery, then forget it. Also, a great comedic tribute to Y Tu Mama Tambien.

Essential album(s): Spoon

Sometimes I don’t know what to write about these. They are essential, just listen to them now. Name drop them for cred if you want. It’s hard to pick Spoon’s favorite album so luckily I got my hands on the discogrpahy. If I were forced to pick, Girls Can Tell and Gimme Fiction are the best. But the rest run a very close second.

Find out more about Spoon here.

Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (2007)

Gimme Fiction (2005)

Kill The Moonlight (2002)

Girls Can Tell (2001)

A Series of Sneaks (1998)

Telephono (1996)

HSM II

This album is for someone with specific music interests. And by that I mean people who love soundtracks to Disney Channel original movies.

01-high_school_musical_2_cast-what_time_is_it.mp3

02-sharpay_and_ryan-fabulous.mp3

03-high_school_musical_2_cast-work_this_out.mp3

04-troy_and_gabriella-you_are_the_music_in_me.mp3

05-chad_and_ryan-i_dont_dance.mp3

06-sharpay-you_are_the_music_in_me_sharpay_version.mp3

07-troy_and_gabriella-gotta_go_my_own_way.mp3

08-troy-bet_on_it.mp3

09-troy_and_gabriella-everyday.mp3

10-high_school_musical_2_cast-all_for_one.mp3

11-sharpay_and_ryan-humuhumunukunukuapuaa_bonus_track.mp3

Top albums of the 90s: the final five

#5 Oasis, What’s the Story Morning Glory? (1995)
Oasis peaked very quickly, and were the next Beatles (in fact, I think they are better than the Beatles). “Wonderwall” is pure genius.

#4 Superdrag, Regretfully Yours (1996)
How in the holy crap are they not huge? They have the patent on fuzzy guitars and great melodies.

#3 Weezer, Pinkerton (1996)
The beginning of the end. Most people would pick their debut album as their best, but this is the pure genius one, and the biggest commercial failure. The band should have taken the cue there, and instead made three incredibly shitty albums. Rivers Cuomo poors his nerdy little heart out about his obsession with half-Japanese girls.

#2 Rancid, ….And Out Come the Wolves (1995)
Rancid rode the coattails of Green Day’s mainstream success but only the true informed know that they keep punk alive. Former members of Operation Ivy form a band that may be…even better? If only Tim Armstrong would stop hanging out with dumb celebs.

and, of course-

oh, just some interesting tidbits about my day

Nothing to say really, except that I consumed the flesh of dead animals. I haden’t eaten anything, and I was not going to have the chance to for a long time, so I had a hot dog. Except that it was a chicken-and-apple flavor. WHAT THE FUCK? Who puts those flavors together. Apparently they are supposed to be some of the best in the area, but it has cured me of any longing I have been having for hot dogs. Maybe it was good, because it affirmed my committment.

I also did an exercise where I had to design an amusement park based on significant points and events in my life. I am not one for sharing, and it all came out kind of superficial and I think it made people confused. Here were some of the highlights:

• a puppy and kitty petting zoo
• a roller coaster of my moods
• instead of a “test your strength” column where you have to get the device to reach the top, it was a “guess how many bootleg albums I have”
• a museum consisting of the history of the feminist movement, the civil rights movement, ancient Rome, and fashions of the 90s.
• The theme park resort is still in the works, but it will look like a Barbie Dream House, obvi.
• There is also a new Sweet Valley High themed extension, where all the employees have to be size-six blonds and there is a roller coaster where all the cars are Black Porches. And  a si,u-rode where you have to stay on the back of Todd’s Motorcycle without falling off. Ok, stop me, I could go on forever.

Let’s talk about how today is an amazing day to get a delivery from Netflix

Sweet baby Jesus.

Amy Sutton is a floozy.

Clive Owen enacts every single cliche about action movies that I loathe, yet I will see this anyway

He is beyond DM! Bite that carrot, Clive!

totally awesome links

Some bar in New York has a drink called The “Heathers” and it is blue and served in a coffee mug. I should have thought of that and make a killing. Pun intended, bwah hah!

Rolling Stone, god bless them, has a cover story about the old school Guns N Roses. Oh, Axl, remember those days? Where you attacked audience members! And were in therapy eight hours a day?

How awesome does Californication look?

Ann M. Martin is writing again!

Quick perc roundup: SBC, Bale, Clive Owen, Cillian. More to come.

Top albums of the 90s #10-6

#10 The Murder City Devils, Empty Bottles, Broken Hearts (1998)
Proof that you don’t need to be a good singer to be a good singer of the band. And that organs make awesome punk music. And that the base guitar is the most important instrument in the band. Too bad they broke up.

#9 The Dandy Warhols, Come Down (1997)
The DWs were supposedly supposed to be the next big thing. They took a little of grunge, a little of glam and a little of pop but it never caught on with a wide audience. They also get away with a weird dynamic: they mix acoustic sounds with electric guitars and the result is a full sound that is so good it makes me tingle.

#8 Nine Inch Nails, The Downward Spiral (1994)
This was supposed to be the “mainstreaming” of industrial music. If anything, it showed that synthesizers weren’t just for bad pop bands. Trent Reznor = fucking genius. Any album where he sings “I wanna f**** you like an animal” is okay in my book.

#7 Guns n Roses, Use Your Illusion I & Use Your Illusion II (1991)
Ok, I cheated, this is two albums, but you can’t have one without the other. Sure, GNR was so misogynist and sexist it wasn’t even funny. And their glorified drugs and alcohol lifestyles wasn’t doing much to give them credibility as artists. But holy shit, could they go over the top without being ironic. Can we talk “November Rain”? Everyone, no matter what they were into, listened to that song about a zillion songs. They wrote the best rock songs I have ever heard.

#6 Tori Amos, Boys For Pele (1996)
Oh, Tori. There are true Tori fans and there are wannabes. The wannabes love Little Earthquakes and her poppy stuff. TRUE fans really understand Boys for Pele. In fact, I hated this when I first heard it. The more you listen, the more you see the genius. Tori is not just a “chick singer” she’s a fucking genius.

Who’s in the top 5? Is the anticipation killing you???

If you don’t like Gogol Bordello, you are dead to me

Damn Clive

At least I get Bret.

Proof of Youth

Lock this down, I’ll only keep this up for a little while, but here’s my strong contender for best album of the year (going head to head with Icky Thump)

[THE GO! TEAM; Proof of Youth] [part 1] [part 2] [make sure you get both parts]

Get it. Listen. Love it.