my celebrity lookalike!

Remember when I said I look like a pregnant Isla Fisher? Here’s the proof.

confessions on a dnce floor

Some things I am really embarrassed about right now.

• I actually watched the movie Next just because Michael Trucco had a small role. And it was so not worth it. He is a terrible actor and actually looks kind of weird when not wearing a Colonial Uniform. But still easy on the eyes.
• I actually enjoy this mashup of “Hung Up” and “My Humps” called “Humps Up”. Don’t judge. [humps-up.mp3]
• I just read a Sleepover Friends book.

Have I no shame?

adventures in San Francisco

You’ll never believe what I will be doing this weekend.

I swear, I am only going because Imperial Teen and Ladytron are performing. I will be wearing 100% cotton the whole time.

some good songs right now

You can either right click and save as, but wordpress also has a cool feature where if you put your cursor over the link, a window will pop up where you can play the song automatically. If you like anything, I can get you the whole album. Maybe.

04-silas-knife.mp3 (THE APPLESEED CAST)

06-dont-let-me-get-me.mp3 (PINK)(UMMMM YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT)

01-kissing-families.mp3 (SILVERSUN PICKUPS)

03-dj-dj.mp3 (TRANSPLANTS)

totem-on-the-timeline.mp3 (THE KLAXONS)

01-genesis.mp3 (JUSTICE)

04-for-reverend-green.mp3 (ANIMAL COLLECTIVE)

01-french-disko-stereolab-cover.mp3 (EDITORS DOING A STEREOLAB COVER)

04-exit-music-for-a-film.mp3 (VAMPIRE WEEKEND CONVERING RADIOHEAD)

10-cold-hands.mp3 (THE BLACK LIPS)

03-kelsey.mp3 (METRO STATION)

Factory snore

So after waiting maybe a year or more, I finally sat down and watched Factory Girl. God, how dreadful. I’d prefer it to be about Andy Warhol because he is a pretty fucked up guy. In this movie he played the quirky gay sidekick. And really, who the fuck cares about Edie Sedgwick? She is really annoying and didn’t do much but look pretty. But uh. mah. gawd. Hayden Christiansen is beyond hot as the Bob Dylan character. Like, it was kind of unbelievable. It almost made up for the dreadful dialogue and acting.

must do: See Death Proof

So today, Death Proof, one half of the Grind House movie, is out on dvd, and barely anyone saw it in theaters. I am telling you that this movie gives me the freaking chills it is so genius. I think that some people will actually hate it and not appreciate it. The plot is nonexistent and for about an hour and ten minutes, there is just banter amongst the actresses that don’t have anything to do with the plot. But the homage to bad grindhouse movies is striking as well as the camera work. And Kurt Russell’s best movie yet. And probably the best soundtrack to a movie ever.

Rule of stand up: drop the f-bomb a lot and that makes comedy

I was super duper excited for the comedy album from Michael Ian Black, but it kind of let me down. Not kind of. I expected more. I prefer him as McKinley or the registered sex offender in Reno. Or talking about Tamigachis in I Love the Nineties. Not as funny as David Cross, maybe on par with Patton Oswalt, definately a million times funnier than Dane Cook.

[MICHAEL IAN BLACK; I Am A Wonderful Man]

how did I not know?

This has been out of dvd for a week already. How did I not know about it? Why didn’t Ian Roberts call me?

Kid Nation

I never imagined myself ever watching any reality show ever again, but I am so all over Kid Nation. 40 kids are sent out to live in an “abandoned” frontier town to see if they can successfully run a community. Although I call bullshit on them being all alone and doing everything by themselves. I am sure there is someone there telling them to bathe, and I don’t believe a group of eight year olds were able to cook a breakfast of eggs, biscuits and oatmeal for 40 kids. I can’t wait until it goes all Lord of the Flies. And I think some of them are prompted to say stuff, but some of these kids have pretty good leadership and survival skills. The best part is the host and producers totally fuck with the community and are trying to create all these class uprisings. The kids were divided into districts and some were designated as upper class and others were designated as working class, and they get payed according to class in money they can use in the root beer saloon or candy store. And the kids also need to manage the stores. Also, they had to vote on whether they got more outhouses or a tv and the council had to represent their factions in the decisions. There is also a ruling council that decides every couple of days which kid is awarded $20,000. Mayhem and social Darwinism is certain to occur. Could be an awesome social psychology experiment, or it could turn into a feel-good drama. I hope it’s the former.

Oh, and among the kids, there is only one Black child, and every quote they show from him has to do with, “in the city, we don’t do this…” Way to stereotype.

pom poms and hot dogs

Well, just for anthropological reasons, I went to the Cal v. Arizona game. I’ll tell you, I STILL do not understand football completely. I feel like an idiot. Almost as dumb as when I was three and my father took me to see Tron. Even until this day I am hesitant to watch it all the way through in fear I won’t understand it. It’s like that with football. And I consider myself a smart person. Why do most of U.S. Americans get it and I don’t? Why do they keep stopping every couple of seconds? At least in hockey and soccer, it’s pretty clear: just get it in the goal. Simple.

Well, the highlight was the halftime marching band show. They did a ska retrospective, doing a medley of Reel Big Fish, Goldfiner, Dave Ferris, and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. I know, awesome, right? I almost fell off the side of the stadium with glee. Sad thing is, these college kids were maybe eight or nine when ska was at its peak, and they don’t appreciate it. Sad.

In other news, I’ve had this blog for three years this month. I don’t know if that is sad or exciting. It’s been fun, and for those of you that have stuck along for the ride, I salute you.

What the kids are listening to: Kanye West

I will admit, I am all over the new Kanye West single, “Stronger”. Sampling Daft Punk? Amazing. I know he acts like a complete cocky asshole, but I think it is all part of the image he is projecting. And you know what? It works. Plus, anyone that wears argyle is alright in my book.

Dload here “Stronger”
or listen here:

Does my butt look big in this superhero outfit?

I never thought I’d be totally into comics, but I have to say Ultimate X-Men is rocking my world, especially volume 9, new mutants. Emma Frost is fantastic, although I am not sure what use her powers are (her skin turns to Crystal). Angel swoops in and looks like Fabio and the Evangelicals thinks he’s an angel of God. Plus, some underground terrorist organization tries to rid the world of normal humans. Nice.

So, why is it generally accepted for women in comic books to be half naked? And why such exaggerated body shapes in both men and women?

adventures in San Francisco

Where: Fillmore

Gentrifed, but nice. My coworker and I played hooky for the day there. It was not too crowded, and people seemed friendly. Although it was filled with stores with things I couldn’t afford/couldn’t fit in to. Spent some time in the Marc Jacobs store salivating over the dresses. Almost bought a $40 t-shirt but then came to my senses. Had an amzing sea salt truffle at Bittersweet.

Liveblogging the Gossip Girl premiere

All the cool kids will be watching Gossip Girl.

9:01 Peter Bjorn and John’s “Young Folks” is playing in the background. I officially hate them.

9:03 Great, another show where people get a warped view of NYC.

9:05 I saw this the first time when it was called Cruel Intentions.

9:10 Does someone really keep a blog about their classmates? That is so Sweet Valley High.

9:12 During the commercial break, a trailer for Feel The Noise, starring Omarion. God, give me strength.

9:15 I want to stab myself in the eye. But this Penn Badgely fella is cute.

9:18 Why do these kids take the MTA bus to school? Aren’t they supposed to be rich? And why do they look 25?And they randomly hang out on the steps of the Met? Next week, on the steps of the Satue of Liberty?

9:16 Oooooo, burn. Blair didn’t invite Serena to her party. I don’t know which girl is which.

9:19 Ooooo, they just mentioned Myspace. How current!

9:22 Nooooo! Now they are playing an Amy Winehouse song. Stop ruining everything I like! They are having martinis at a hotel bar. At 16. And they go to Bungalow 8 and dance on the tables. Uhhhhh, and I’m the pope.

9:26 Trailer for Fred Clause. Vince Vaughn, what happened to you?

9:30 Grilled Cheese with truffle oil? Wtf?

9:32 The whole scandal is that the blonde one slept with the brunette’s boyfriend and felt so bad that she went away to boarding school. Boo fucking hoo.

9:33 They are having a “Kiss on the Lips” party. As opposed to….what? The “up the ass” party?

9:42 Noooooooooooo!!!! They are playing the Cold War Kids. Stop ruining these bands for me!

9:47 I think I am giving up. Sorry I can’t tell you how it ends.

How John Sellers changed my life.

So when you think of my interests, you probably think of music. Duh. And when people ask me my interests, I tell them music, and then it sounds dumb. And then they ask me what kind of music I like, and I sound like an ass like I am purposely naming stuff that no one has heard of. Sometimes people ask my what my favorite band is and I totally freeze up and actually get panicky. How can I even choose one? And really, I think I actually enjoy music in different way than other people. And I can’t really explain it to people. However, when people ask me from now on, I think I am just going to hand them a copy of this book.

This is basically a long diatribe about the bands he likes and why. Like me, he associates albums to time periods and current events. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. Not even a romantic way, just rent a house in Berkeley and sit around and talk about music all day. If you want to understand me better and the way I think, read this book. He even loves making lists about music…sound like someone you know? If you don’t read it, you obviously don’t care about me. The second half of the book he gets into his unhealthy obsession with Guided By Voices…I haven’t really drank that Kool-Aid yet.

My envy of John Sellers is like my envy of Chuck Klosterman. Why and how in the hell does he do this for a living? Can I please get a job where I can talk about music all day? Because I do to whoever will listen. And to myself.

Anyway, he blogs too. I am destined to be bffs with John Sellers.

consumer reports

Enon is an aquired taste. Very Euro. They remind me of Blonde Redhead and Black Box Recorder. This one is almost dance-pop.

[ENON; Grass Geysors Carbon Clouds]

Not blowing my mind right now: The Donna’s new album, Bitchin’. I can’t believe they are still around. Seriously, you are not AC/DC and never will be. Give it up.

Listen to “Better off Dancing“.

2 movies that look promising.

Juno and Fanboys. But I could be wrong.

you got it dude

Mary Kate Olsen makes her “serious” film debut on Weeds. What the fuck. If this is acting, I could win a Daytime Emmy. Actually, she hasn’t been this inspiring since It Takes Two. Do yourself a favor, rent When In Rome, it’s probably better.

Control

I found these new pics from the movie Control, which I am incredibly excited about. Although, I have a feeling it could turn into something like Brothers of the Head or Last Days, where the subject matter is awesome, but the movie could turn out to be crap. However, the music is sure to be incredible*. And the lead looks exactly like Ian Curtis.

*For those of you that don’t know, Joy Division is amazing and basically 85% of today’s indie rock bands would not exist if not for them. Interpol is basically a Joy Division cover band.

Down by the Water

Facebook has gone to far when groups like this are formed. The hell? I can’t tell if it is real or satire. I don’t know which would be worse.

Screw Women’s Studies, I should have majored in homemaking. Normally I would applaud efforts to show that raising a family is hard work, but somehow I can’t get on board with this one.

Jack White in a kilt. Need I say more?

And in my-weekend-plans-are-cooler-than-yours, I will be attending the Treasure Island Music Festival, seeing Built to Spill, Spoon, M.I.A., Ghostland Observatory, Earlimart, Film School….. it’s too good to be believed.

Here’s some random songs that you should know:

P.J. Harvey, “Down By the Water“

Ghostland Observatory, “Stranger Lover“

The Distillers, “Beat Your Heart Out“

Also, the “Boys” video because it’s damn good.

you can buy gadar on the internet

So, I know I have been reluctant in the past, but I have been plowing through Season 3 of The Office. The show has actually gotten better this season, it’s less gags and more subtle funny stuff. In fact, the things I didn’t like about it last season are what I like this season. I used to think Dwight was a bit over the top and the writers were trying too hard to make him be weird for weird’s sake, but this season he is actually funny and a bit endearing. I actually enjoy him and Angela’s secret relationship. I am still not a Michael Scott fan, but I did like to see his annoyance at someone even more annoying that him- Andy. Who plays an annoying person very well. I am also over the whole Jim and Pam thing. Pam had her chance, she should have taken it, so stop the crying. I know they are trying to make Karen be the enemy, but in real life she is actually the more interesting person. Jim’s sly looks to the camera is getting kind of old and predictable. It is also hard for me to suspend belief about the dynamics of the office, and that Michael would not be fired for his antics, and that Jim would not try to find another job.

I see they are still trying to be true to the original UK version, because Michael’s presentation to Ryan’s business school class was an homage to the infamous “Simply the Best” speech. Still not as good.

’cause your my fellow my guy

You know how much I love cover songs. I especially am in love with this cover of Amy Winehouse’s “You Know I’m No Good” done by the Arctic Monkeys. It’s way better than anything the AM have done.

Also, Echo & the Bunnymen do a monotone cover of “All You Need is Love“.

you know you are getting old when

you don’t even realize that the MTV Video Music Awards are on.

Also, when you know who MC Skat Kat is.

pet peeves

I am surprised I did not start this list earlier, but I’ve decided to put them in writing. Because I am a crusty old woman. Here are some pet peeves currently on my mind:

People backing into spaces. What the hell? Like when you leave you will be in such a hurry that you can’t spare the 7 seconds it takes to pull out of a space? It takes longer to back into a space at the beginning than it does to pull out at the end. I think that people who back into spaces are incredibly entitled. Yes, that is a huge judgement. Deal with it.

People saying “1am in the morning” or “4pm in the aftenoon”. Either say the “am” part or the “morning” part. Make a fucking choice.

When I am wating at a crosswalk, and the whole street is clear except for one close approaching car. I stand and wait for that car to go by, no biggie, but then they STOP and WAVE ME ACROSS. Who the hell made them crossing guard? Furthermore, now I feel obligated to run across the street instead of liesurely walking, which was why I was waiting in the first place. Fuck.

People wearing CBGB’s shirts. They have no clue what that even means.

More bitterness to come!

adventures in San Francisco: Telegraph Hill

So I am new to the city, so I will be doing some touristy things. But not act like an idiot tourist, which 99% of tourists do. I can’t help but compare it to New York, as I do with all cities. And it’s not like I am one of those people who refuse to believe anything outside of NYC is worthwhile (I mean I moved 3000 miles away, didn’t I?) but it is my frame of reference because I grew up with that as my reference as “the city”.

Place: Pier 39
What it is: kind of like South Street Sea Port, but a little more spread out and way more clam chowder restaurants. Lots of shitty souvenir shops and Alcatraz prison striped t-shirts. Lovely. I was there to chaperone a trip. Safe to say that there is no need to go back.

Place: Telegraph Hill neighborhood
What it is: a totally bougie neighborhood. I think I have a real estate fetish. I love looking at city properties and possibly even peeking inside to see the decor. These places are fucking amazing and I can only dream.

Place: Lombard Street
What it is: I was trying to avoid it because it was totally touristy, but I was oddly drawn to it because I SECRETLY wanted to see the San Francisco Real World house. Yes, remember the days when The Real World was interesting? Ah, those were the days….Judd lamenting over his crush on a Republican…Cory crying after a hard day’s work at Nordstrom’s….Rachel running around in babydoll dresses and bike shorts…Anyway, it’s the crookedest street in the world. And in a fairly not busy neighborhood, there were tourists crawling all over it, which, if I lived there (and was paying millions), I’d be pretty pissed. Sure, I guess you could call me a toursit, but I wasn’t letting my bratty kids crawl over the front porches and taking pics.

this donut box is like my soul: empty

Uhhhh muuuuhhhh gaaaad, how come no one told me Dexter was so good? Michael C. Hall: brilliant. Taking place in Miami: awesome. A father teaching his son to become a criminal: awesome. Creating empathy for a protagonist who is a serial killer: priceless.

I totally got off track with Rome while getting into this. Other shows on dvd I need to get through:

• Heroes, Season 1
• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 1
• The Office, Season 3
• The Adventures of Robin Hood
• Undeclared

album that is blowing my mind right this very moment in time

Voxtrot are from Austin! And are kind of pop-ish! And soooo good!

[VOXTROT; self-titled]

Woody Allen films have gone to shit.

He is not even trying anymore. His new one looks like it was spliced from his other movies. Despite the Ewan factor, it looks gawd awful.

what the kids are in to: scary Troy doll

Holy shit, this freaks me out. His pants are too flared for my liking. How many tween girls (and gay men) are buying this to see if it’s anatomically correct?

list: disturbing and/or racist costumes spotted at the Halloween superstore

• Geisha girl child’s costume (complete with white face paint and a robe with a picture of a Japanese woman on it)
• Harijuku girl (for kids)
• Major Flirt (alluring miltary costume for young girls)
• Mexican Man (complete with sombrero and mustache)
• Hawaiin Guy (comes with a Hawaiin style shirt with a shark fin coming out the back)
• Middle Eastern Harem Girl
• “Sexy” border patrol agent (my head exploded when I saw that)

My thoughts on Rome Season 2 so far

I have three episodes left, and just like with The Deathly Hallows, I am reluctant to finish because I don’t want closure. I could watch this show forever, and go through generations and generations of Roman nobility (actually, I. Claudius actually picks up where this leaves off). However, I am not feeling this season like I was the first.

You all know I love the villains, and feel they are often misunderstood. However, with Marc Antony in one of the main roles this season, his hedonistic, gross ways are not redeeming, and he is starting to annoy, just a lil. And do we need to see him naked in like, every episode? Wait, why am I complaining? Same this Atia. Last season she was just kind of snarky. This season she loves to torture/murder people. It’s a bit over the top.

Give it up for the Jews in ancient Rome!

Octavian was my favorite character last season, and probably one of my favorite tv characters, ever. Then they went and changed up the actor when he got older (no one else seemed to age…and he suddenly became a redhead) and I don’t know if Simon Woods is a terrible actor or those are his stage directions. His character had conviction and stood against Antony and glorified Cesar, now he siddenly did a 180 and is acting as a greedy asshole, without much reason behind his actions. Maybe the power is getting to his head? Maybe I am about to find out?

Cicero was a great character, and I was upset by his death, although history predicts he died, etc. He was a character who stuck to principles and integrity. Same with Brutus, but you knew he was going to bite it.

Cleopatra- so miscast.

Although I loved them last season, I could give two shits about Pullo and Vorenus and their control of the gangs. I don’t like the storyline, and it does nothing for me, it is very one-domensional. And Pullo’s wife needs to go–I feel like the writers added her at the end of last season, and then never really knew what to do with her. And she forgave Pullo for killing her first boyf? I guess as women back then they were used to that shit, but come on. I liked them way better in the army.

Octavia is pretty boring this season, considering the shit she went through last season, like having her lesbian lover convince her to sleep with her brother to gain secret info about Cesar. Now there’s excitement.

Agrippa- soooooooooo cute!

Lots of it is this person’s army is battling this army, and vice versa, less of the political intrigue and character stuff I mis that. But-finally an actual battle scene! Not just the aftermath, inside of someone’s tent.

We shall see…

album that is blowing my mind right now

I really glossed over this when it came out last year, but now it is changing my life. I haven’t heard anything that sounds quite like it. It’s like a dash of the Strokes, Spoon, and maybe even a little sprinkle of Maroon 5. Standout tracks: “We Used to Vaction”; “Hang Me Out to Dry”.

[COLD WAR KIDS; Robbers and Cowards]

And even more awesome news…I’M SEEING THEM WITH THE WHITE STRIPES IN TWO WEEKS! GAAAHAHHUQHE(QHE@#

September mix tape

I compiled a mix of new stuff that I’ve been listening to. I’m too lazy to list the tracks, but just download the file and trust me. Although today I am feeling particularly musically elitist and refusing to listen to anything released before 1982 (Joy Division party up in hee-yar!)

[September Mix]

Stardust

My god, I am so sixk and tired of using gay characters as a comic device. Why would you think that Stardust, as a british histotical fairytale, would throw some bullshit cheep shot gay jokes in there? Namely Robert DeNiro dressing in drag as a comedy. What a freak! Omg! He is going to caught by his enemy and killed during it! Oh, my aching sides! And hiding his effeminate nature in return for not getting the shit beat out of him from his crew. Namely, the one crewmember has to keep reminding him to be manly because god forbid he should be himself! HAHAHAHA! SO FUNNY!

Besides, it wasn’t a great movie anyway, and was about 40 minutes too long. And I am gonna say it. Claire Danes is so fucking ugly; I couldn’t beieve they made stars look like that. Horribly miscast. Yay Sienna Miller! Totally playing herself.

game day

So as many of you know I just moved to a college town whose college has a high-ranking division 1 football team. College football is a world I have never even begun to experience or understood. I am starting to understand it, and equally fear it. I woke up at 8 this morning with a tailgate party being set up in the parking lot directly outside my window.  I didn’t even know anyone owned copies of Jock Jams anymore. It is a really interesting study of conformity. Suddenly the world is divided into binary factions- Cal fans and Tennessee fans. I can’t believe how many Tennesee fans actually flew here for the event. I hope they get their money’s worth. It was kind of fun watching the folks from Knoxville interact with Liberalism, USA.

Also, it seems that alcohol laws are all suspended on game days. Wow. Open containers on the streets seems to be the rule, not the exception. Internalized oppression also seems to be the order of the day too, because I saw at least three women flash their breasts for blue and gold beads on my way to the coffeeshop where I am hiding out and writing this.

I guess it is great to band together with common enthusiasm…I think? But it just strikes me as weird that all these white people everywhere calling the team “their team”, benefiting from the fun and mass amounts of expensive alcohol, when in fact, a lot of the actual players and non-white and from lesser socioeconomic status. Are they being exploited for a huge amount of income for the university and the town? My guess would be a smidge.

Sigh. Only six more home games in the season.

you know you are getting old when…

…you voluntarily purchase a pair of Crocs. Not to worry! They are the super cute kind. Can we talk about how they are the most comfortable fucking things I have ever worn? I am totally brainwashed.

list: bands that need to call it a day

Some bands should just do themselves a favor and call it a day. You want to be like Cheers, going out on top, and not like Friends.

Mxpx: sure you were kind of on top of yor game and the forefront of the Christian rock genre, but you all are 35 with kids, gettng kind of old to be singing about being afraid of girls and having parties at your parents’ house.

Maroon 5: Songs About Jane was amazing. Now it’s just going through the motions and Adam Levine seducing every camera he sees.

Good Charlotte: sure, when you first came out onto the scene you were adorable, and your songs about growing up fatherless and working class in Maryland were endearing, but now you hang out at the Ivy with Nicole Ritchie- what the hell can inspire you now?

Cyndi Lauper/Alanis Morisette: when you rerecord your album from more than a decade ago to try to restart your career, you know it’s time to go.

Velvet Revolver: this band serves as a halfway home for overindulgent has-beens.Don’t try to chase that dream, just count your royalies and call it a day.

Corbin Bleu: I can see how you would want to cash in on your High School Musical fame, but really anyone cares about is Zefron, so don’t even try.

Bad Brains: my god, they were so influential, but why record an album now? Kids today will so not appreciate it. Just let us have the memories.

The Pixies: you changed the face of music as we know it , and practically invented the 90s, and Kurt Cobain himself has admitted to copying you in much of his songwriting, but why reunite? Frank Black can barely get through a song without having to sit down. If you quit now, you will be indie rock gods of the 90s. If you reunite, you are about 30 seconds from appearing on Celebreality on VH1.

U2: stop shoving your politics down our throats and branding your name on everything. Besides, everysong released sounds like “Beautiful Day”.

Foo Fighters: Dave Grohl’s boring frat-boy rock has canceled out any amazing qork he did with Scream and Nirvana.

Evanescence: I proudly admitted that I liked Fallen, and for goth-pop-rock it was pretty fucking rad. Then about 18 people quit the band and Amy Lee went on a Hot Topic-sponsored ego trip and The Open Door was pathetic. The original lineup will never be there, so just call it a day.

Phantom Planet: I don’t see how it is ever humanly possible to live up to the awesomeness of their debut album, and now they’ve lost half their lineup. No use even going on.

The Jesus and Mary Chain: you reunite and have Scarlett Johansen do your backup vocals? That’s a sign right there. Just pack it up.