ad hoc.

This weekend I went to the Maker Faire. Pretty cool stuff, and lots of geeky people. Yay! Some stuff didn’t do it for me, but there was a life-size Mouse Trap which rocked my world. This is why I love Northern California. Do you think this stuff would happen in Connecticut? Fucking never.

The coolest thing? There’s a guy who has practically dedicated his life to recreating R2D2.

you take a mental health day from work and spend it at Costco. What about Costco entrances me? Is it the opportunity to by as much Crystal Lite mix at one time to kill 100 lab rats? To be able to purchase Stargate SG-1 for a mere $14.99? I don’t know. I hate consumerism, so I like its no-frills warehouse feel. Of course, that is all part of the design, so I have once again been duped by marketing. Seriously though, I could live there. Maybe I will! And film it! [Costo-ize Me].

One, because they have aqua in them. Two, because now I can actually see. They’re kind of trendy as fuck, and now I feel like I want a pair to wear every different day of the week. And I want one of each pair from this company.

Wow! Someone else is also bothered that Bad Brains are doing promos on MTV. Okay, it’s not just me. None of the kids watching even gets the relevance or the awesomeness…but then again, no one FORCED Band Brains to do it. Yes, maybe they need the paycheck to be able to start making music again, but isn’t being on MTV against absolutely everything they stand for?

Thank god the writer’s strike is over! It looks like Battlestar will have a complete season. Seriously, thank god. I know I make fun of all those other fans of cancelled shows that send the producers all sorts of crap in the mail, but if this season did not get a proper run, you’d see me REALLY lose it. Oh, and the glorious third season (my favorite so far) is on dvd March 18.

My Little Pony is 25! There’s some sort of display going on in NYC. Hint hint for anyone that lives there to go and take pics for me. I read an article recently that claimed that the early ponies looked like ponies, and the more recent ones look like underage porn stars. You be the judge:

THEN:

NOW:

My phone broke (i.e. I was using it out in the rain and it screwed up the lcd) so I was FORCED to get a new phone.

I got a red Palm Centro. Look how preeeety it is! Some would complain that the qwerty keyboard is too small but it is just the right size for my stubby little fingers. I wish I didn’t even have to pay for minutes, because I barely talk on the phone but I can text/email/googlemap my heart out. Yes, that means ANOTHER new number for me which I will send to all of you once I get the thing set up.

Oh my gawd, The Ten is on dvd.

It’s like Wet Hot American Summer 2. THe cast is my wet dream. It includes every member of The State, and a parade of people to perv on, inclusind Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, Liev Schrieber, Jason Sudeikas, Ken Marino, Adam Brody, and Mather Zickel (a.ka. Mike Powers). Fucking fantastic. And that’s no goof!

After 29 years, I just now realized that the brand “Chips Ahoy!” is a play on the phrase “ships ahoy!”.

Other confession: I plan on watching the Bring It On marathon on ABC Family this weekend.

The complete series on dvd in a cute little sherpa bag!

Although I denouce it, I am still a consumer. I have gotten much better about what I purchase, and give myself a long reflection on “do I REALLY need it?” which usually works. But I figured I love year end lists, so why not make another one. Here are the material objects that I’ve acquired that have made me happy. Money can buy a little but of happiness. (This does not include the purchase of movies or books.) I am not trying to flaunt my ability to buy these things, just an excuse to make another year-end list.

• My macbook: it’s so cute and sleek, and I love being able to do stuff for work and blog at places other than my house.
• My flatscreen tv: I debated getting this forever, and before this I would watch movies on my macbook, which didn’t do it for me. I still feel guilty about making such a big expense but hey it is really great to watch Battlestar and Lost on it.
• Numerous pairs of American Apparel leggings: Yes, American Apparel is a cliche, but I should invest stock in it, I own so much from them. Leggings are one trend I did buy into and I am not letting go. They are just too damn comfortable.
• All my furniture in my apartment, but especially this chair, because it is super comfortable and in my favorite color. (What? I did NOT pay that proce. What is with IKEA and inflation?)
• Various Lichtenstein prints, and now my apt is like a pop art gallery.
• My AC transit yearly pass, because I fricking love public transpo.
• Shoes: these vans and these Doc Marten boots. (Seriously, between the Docs and the leggings, I am dressing like I did in high school. Next thing you know I’ll be bringing back Contempo Casuals.) Oh, and my Crocs. Don’t hate!
• My Sigrid Olsen jacket (not quite that print, but kind of)
• Roller Barbie. No explanation needed.
• The SanDisk clip- because I don’t need bells and whistles and video and album displays on my MP3 player, I just need to listen to music.
• All the money I spent on my plane ticket, UPS shipping my stuff, etc. to get the hell out of Connecticut.

Hmmm, I didn’t intend for this post to be some sort of bragging about my ability to be able to buy these things, because believe me, I paid my dues by being miserable in Connecticut for three years and justofying my being there by saving money like crazy.

Now that my apartment stuff is settled, the only big expenses I want to make in 2008 is traveling. I really need to get off my but and see things, and also visit lots of people. Mark my words.

Part of on ongoing series where I look at fucked up kids’ toys….

I totally had one of those Barbie stylin’ heads when I was little, you know, the one that is just a head with a purpose of styling their [synthetic, stringy nylon] hair and putting makeup on it. I get it, I do. It made a lot of sense for me, because in reality, all I liked to do was brush my dolls hair. They still makes those things, and it may be just me, but these things are fucking scary these days. Example A:

What the fuck? It’s a head that “talks” and “sings” alongside a mutant monkey child and other animals. If you want nightmares for a week, watch the commercial. It’s bad enought it’s just a head, now it talks to me?

At least these two have each other for company as they spend eternal damnation with no bodies.

This one managed to lift up her hands and get collogen injections before the guillotine dropped.

Oh my god! Even the children are not safe!

Is that war paint?

One of the scariest of them all: This one is clutching a baby dog that looks scared shitless.

Lest we not forget the severed horse’s head.

Retail sales were down a lot this year, and the news coverage treats it with as much fear as global warming. Shouldn’t this be good news? That people are realizing that they arew trillions of dollars in debt or that theit kids need their love and attention and not a new Wii?

Hold on tight little girl, because horses and or/robotic horses will overtake humans one day. I’m not sure which ones, but it will happen.

So the hot new toy this year is Butterscotch, a robotronic horse that responds to touch, petting, grooming, and the feeding of a fake carrot. You can also sit on it and when you “bounce up and down” it will make galloping noises. Er, um. Apparently it is all the rage and costs $300. Another fact about it: it is fucking scary. Look at it! What is with that facial expression. I saw the demo in Target and it creeped me out so much I ran and ducked in the Issac Mizrahi section. Horses are also scary animals. They act all docile but in fact in a rage, once horse can probably kill several humans at once. I know the social brainwashing prescribes that all little girls love horses, but I was all, I’ll stick to my 11 1/2 inch Barbies, thankyouverymuch.

Oh my god, there is another one, called S’mores.

Ick. It’s eyes follow you no matter where you go.

No thanks, I’ll stick to Magic Hair Bratz. Or the Hannah Montana special collection. Or the gayest doll ever.

For those of you that know me, you know that I am closet doll-lover. Heck, it’s not that secret, I have Barbies on display in my living room. The phenomenon of the American Girl Dolls is one that still wows me. They came out right around the time when it was no longer socially acceptable for me to really be playing with dolls. However, what is socially acceptable? If someone wanted to buy me an American Doll for Chanukah, I wouldn’t protest. That’s a hint. Just kidding. No I’m not. Or am I?

The premise is that the gals come from historical eras and it is supposed to teach girls about history. Sounds benign enough, right? Well, I just found out they created a new historical doll. Julie, who is from the 1970s. Does it get any better? She lives in the Haight in San Francisco! Woot? And she has a funky Chinese bff from Chinatown, natch. Why didn’t someone call me when this came out? Don’t you know me at all?

So yea, The funny thing is that the intentions is for girls to learn about crucial times in history, but it gets lost on the impact. For instance, the only black doll is…wait for it…an escaped slave from the civil war era. And her story is that she had a hard life, and now is beginning a new life with “nothing but a silver nickel and a smile” or some shit like that. Each doll comes with a set of accessories (which costs, no joke, hundreds of dollars). Now here’s the bed that goes with Samantha. the rich, spoiled Victorial-era gal.

Addie’s bed:

Damn! What girl would CHOOSE Addie’s bed over the other one?

Kaya’s the Native American doll, and for a mere $70, you can buy her teepee! And her worker dog!

Molly, who is from World War II era, accesorizes with camp gear. Hmmm, how much is the shame for the Japanese internment camps? Kirten is from colonial times. Was Addie her actual slave?

You are probably thinking that I am looking too much into it, that they are only dolls. Yes, I suppose that’s true. But, if you are making an attempt at teaching history, it’s pretty sucky when you paint the era as good and feature the clothing and accessories for the dolls as a big sell. If you are going to teach history, be more realistic.

Oh, but I still wasn’t kidding about getting me one for Chanukah. Just kidding. Or not.

Can you belieeeeeve I haven’t seen it yet? The cover makes me want to give myself a papercut and then pour lemon juice on it. I hate Corbin Bleu so much, and he never did anything bad to me.

So, ran to Target to pick up some random stuff like essentials and other stuff I needed. Okay, so it was a Friday at around 9pm but whaddya going to do? My purchases: a new optical mouse (mine just broke thus hindering my blogging ability), a cat toy, toilet paper, a chocolate cake for an upcoming office party, a new frying pan, a jumbo pack of toilet paper, and a some hydicortisone cream (I have a burn on my leg. Long story).

Here’s what the cashier probably thought: I was going to go home on a Friday night, watch porn on the internet, talk to my cats, and stuff my face with chocolate cake, and medicate my STD. Fantastic.

Today I caught a showing of What Would Jesus Buy?, the documentary about overconsumption and the commercialization of Christmas, featuring a group I have followed for quite some time, Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping. I am not sure how much they get their word across, but their spontaneous performances and people’s reactions were interesting. I wish the movie showed more insights and solutions, but it was pretty eye opening anyway. How do we even start to change consumerism when people’s desire for low prices keep juggernauts like Wal-Mart in business? And if kids are fed consumerism and beg for the things they see, how can parents say no to this? Anyhoo, I consider myself a member of the church of stop shopping because anyone who claims that Mickey Mouse is the anti-christ is worth following.

I like how the name of Dorsia clothing line is a reference to American Psycho, a critique of the urban-based, status obsessed, materialistic, amoral, and impersonal yuppie culture. Yet the designers of this line totally embody that. Without even realizing they are missing the irony. Nowadays clothing designers take an iron on and throw it on a t-shirt and make a line of clothes. Just like coked out rich kids play songs off their ipods and become superstar DJs.

I am watching Flight of the Conchords and I can’t decide if it is the most brilliant show ever created or the most annoying thing ever. Also, the character of Mel is totally based on me.

Urban Outfitters, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I got the new Raveonettes album and squeeing with delight. Sounds exactly like what you would expect from them, which is awesome.

Started watching It’s Always Pervy Sunny in Philadelphia, and any show that can use abortion, molestation and the handicapped in a celver way is okay in my book.

OInk was shut down and the owner arrested. Who will bail me out when they get me?

James McAvoy DOES NOT EQUAL Kurt Cobain. I just don’t see it. I would choose Garret Hedlund or Joe Anderson.

Have you ever seen the Lionel Richie video for “Hello”. If not, this will make no sense to you.

American Apparel’s Halloween costume guide. Hollywood streetwalker: love it! As much as I make fun, I keep buying stuff there. How can I resist the cranberry leggings and this bag?

I am so in love with my new shoes. Yes, they are suede. So sue me.

You all know how I feel about Halloween. Something really wrong about selling gore to kids and glorifying horrendous violence. But some of these are even more disturbing.

Nothing like dressing up as an actual ethnic identity. Way to perpetuate every steretype. Congratulations.

The other thing that baffles me are the “sexy” costumes. They make no sense! How is this even functional?

Why do aviators need to be sexy?

And detectives? Wouldn’t this ride up your butt while you are solving murders?

What’s more fun than sexualizing your child?

And the best: A Gold Digger costume. It’s a sign of the apocolypse.

This has been out of dvd for a week already. How did I not know about it? Why didn’t Ian Roberts call me?

Holy shit, this freaks me out. His pants are too flared for my liking. How many tween girls (and gay men) are buying this to see if it’s anatomically correct?

…you voluntarily purchase a pair of Crocs. Not to worry! They are the super cute kind. Can we talk about how they are the most comfortable fucking things I have ever worn? I am totally brainwashed.