ad hoc.

“I am more interested in what my friends think of me than what I think of myself” is the powerful line delivered by Troy Bolton in the denouement of High School Musical 2, which I finally watched this morning. Is that really supposed to be inspiring?

HSM2, as it’s known to the true fans, could either be a film that lacks self-awareness or is so self-aware it’s all a joke on us. Watching it, I would think it’s a parody of all cheesy musicals. The extreme overacting (I’m looking at you, Corbin Bleu), the hackneyed plot, the horrible musical numbers, etc. I also feel like some of the staging was so bad, why didn’t they reshoot the scene? Sometimes I had to turn away, especially during Zac Efron’s tour-de-force “Bet On It” dance through the golf course.

I don’t like to go on things based on stereotypes, but this was also one of the gayest movies I’ve ever seen. How can Ryan Evans NOT be gay? The fashion sense, the momma’s boy complex, he does musical theater, always hangs out with his sister. Sharpay is practically a drag queen with her makeup, costumes and over the topness. And pretty boy Zac Efron is basically molded from plastic during the movie and is practically the archetype of a twink.

Maybe the creators had this in mind, and wanted to make a campy parody movie. Or maybe they thought they were making a really good musical. Yikes.

And it has to be said, this one pales in comparison to the original, where the songs were catchy and well done, for pop songs. I wasn’t feelin’ any of the songs in this one, except maybe “Gotta Go My Own Way” because it was a bit cheesy and sounded like your archetypal broadway show-stopper.

Wow! Someone else is also bothered that Bad Brains are doing promos on MTV. Okay, it’s not just me. None of the kids watching even gets the relevance or the awesomeness…but then again, no one FORCED Band Brains to do it. Yes, maybe they need the paycheck to be able to start making music again, but isn’t being on MTV against absolutely everything they stand for?

Thank god the writer’s strike is over! It looks like Battlestar will have a complete season. Seriously, thank god. I know I make fun of all those other fans of cancelled shows that send the producers all sorts of crap in the mail, but if this season did not get a proper run, you’d see me REALLY lose it. Oh, and the glorious third season (my favorite so far) is on dvd March 18.

My Little Pony is 25! There’s some sort of display going on in NYC. Hint hint for anyone that lives there to go and take pics for me. I read an article recently that claimed that the early ponies looked like ponies, and the more recent ones look like underage porn stars. You be the judge:

THEN:

NOW:

I can’t believe I found these songs somewhere.

only-me-and-the-music.mp3

twilight-in-paris.mp3

shes-got-the-power.mp3

I had to post this because I just heard it on the radio on my drive home.

Um, when you think about it, the song is actually pretty fucking fantastic. Who woulda thunk we would have gotten an Oscar-nominated actor out of that one?

I recently acquired the digital albums of the days of yore. Realizing that there are some gems on these that didn’t get ENOUGH airplay. I am here to bring these to the surface! It’s only fair!

03-popsicle.mp3

Who was Maurice Starr fooling? This is basically New Edition’s “Candy Girl” made for white kids.

08-i-wanna-be-loved-by-you.mp3

The boys really spill their hearts out in this one. Each one gets a whole section to themselves, and they tell us their astrological sign and a lil more about what makes them tick. Highlight: Joey M. is all “I’m just a kid”. You can hear him thinking, “Mom, I don’t want to be in the band anymore! Take me home!” Also, I was so pumped that Donnie and I are both Leos. Who am I kidding? I still pumped about that!

06-new-kids-on-the-block.mp3

Everyone needs a song that explains the raison d’etre behind their band. And one with some very bad rapping.

04-cover-girl.mp3

Omg, not only the best NKOTB songs ever, but maybe one of the best songs ever. This was a hit, but it wasn’t crazy huge, like all the ones that Jordan sang. It has a rocking guitar solo too. And it actually is pretty good, for a pop song.

09-my-favorite-girl.mp3

I always liked this one. It seemed…really intense.

02-tonight.mp3

This was showed how mature the guys were. They also stray from many NKOTB canons that we have come to know and love. Firstly, an intro on a mandolin. Then, they sing about the trials and tribulations of being famous, and reminiscing about their expansive career. Then, a full orchestra backing up the chorus! Highlight: “See the girls with the curls in their hair/the buttons and the pins and the loud fanfare”. It’s very Kafka-esque for them to acknowledge their own fame and cultural mark. Trippy.

06-happy-birthday.mp3

Jon Knight was getting mad that he really never sang or did anything useful in the band. So they gave him a solo song, and figured they had to give him something simple. It’s not the Happy Birthday song you are thinking of; it’s a blatant ripoff of “Earth Angel”. Why did no one ever pick up on that?

07-funky-funky-xmas.mp3

I listened to the shit out of the Xmas album, much to the chagrin of my Jewish parents. This one gives me the biggest douche chills when I listen to it now. Yes, it’s a rap about Christmas. Complete with one of the guys talking is stupid funk voices, which is actually a bit racist. I can’t really make fun too much, because when I was in synagogue choir, we also did a Jewish rap song, about being “Holy…Holy…we shall be holy.” I know my brother can back me up on this one.

Holy crap! Good stuff. Some highlights:

- Alex is the head of the prom committee and helps plan the “Civil War plantation” themed prom. Complete with a noose hanging from the gym ceiling. No fucking joke.

-Alex pretends to be a supporter of the ERA to win a girl’s heart. They go to a rally and he gets stuck for the night in jail with a bunch of rowdy feminists.

-Uncle Ned (Tom Hanks) is back from prison and comes to stay with the Keatons, but Alex finds out he’s an alcoholic when he finds him drinking a bottle of vanilla extract.

How Zac Efron became the cutest guy ever. Jeez, even Time is covering this phenomenon.

Orphaned hedgehogs adopt cleaning brush as their mother. Yes, you read that right. In other news, I’ve adopted my swiffer as my life partner.

This album is for someone with specific music interests. And by that I mean people who love soundtracks to Disney Channel original movies.

01-high_school_musical_2_cast-what_time_is_it.mp3

02-sharpay_and_ryan-fabulous.mp3

03-high_school_musical_2_cast-work_this_out.mp3

04-troy_and_gabriella-you_are_the_music_in_me.mp3

05-chad_and_ryan-i_dont_dance.mp3

06-sharpay-you_are_the_music_in_me_sharpay_version.mp3

07-troy_and_gabriella-gotta_go_my_own_way.mp3

08-troy-bet_on_it.mp3

09-troy_and_gabriella-everyday.mp3

10-high_school_musical_2_cast-all_for_one.mp3

11-sharpay_and_ryan-humuhumunukunukuapuaa_bonus_track.mp3

Ok, I am slooooowly trying to rebuild my music collection after losing it all, but I’ve managed to recover some interesting tidbits. Firstly, I finally found the soundtrack to 28 Weeks Later, and it is amazing. It was done by someone named John Murphy, whom I’ve never heard of before (Mike? Help me out?). Sure it’s reptitive, but it fits the movie perfectly. I am thinking of doing a list of the best movie scores.

don-abandons-alice.mp3 (dload)

Also amusing me is Avril Lavigne’s “Girldfriend” in Spanish. I hated the song when it came out, but somehow this makes it kind of better.

girlfriend-spanish-version.mp3(dload)

Also, Gary Glitter’s “Do You Wanna Touch Me There?” because it is pretty funny since he is now a child molestor. Also, you may know the song from Velvet Goldmine. In that case, the answer to the question is obvious.

do-you-wanna-touch-oh-yeah.mp3(dload)

Well, there are some unfortunate times when I am driving that I have to listen to the radio. To my chagrin, they edited the hell out of Pink’s “U & UR Hand”. They beeped out the word “suck”. I can see if it was used as a verb, but it was used as” you suck”. What? The Pussycat Dolls are all over about looking at my hah hah, and Pink can’t even song an arguably empowering song about not being used as a sex object. Why am I surprised?

In embarassing news, I kind of really like Rihanna’s new single “Umbrella”. It’s good for the gym. Although, she thinks that umbrella has four syllables, which I was not aware of. Is she going to the liberry after this? And then going to eat pasketti?

Rihanna (feat. Jay-Z); “Umbrella”

Wait, I was liking it until I saw the redonculous video.First off, she looks like a real-life Bratz doll. Second of all, dancing and cool outfits are great, but this whole video is basically to show off how skinny she is, and not for the benefit of female empowerment.

I’m getting old.

My ultimate guilty pleasure has a new album.

[THE ACADEMY IS....; Santi] [multiply][mediafire]

The new Fall Out Boy video for “Thnks for the Mmrs” is kind of stupid.

Not that they were never about the money, but Disney is just so damn greedy, that when they have a successful idea, they milk it for all it is worth. Example: all the straight to video sequels of their classic movies. It’s shameful. And now that they have struck gold with High School Musical, they can’t let it be with the sequel. Now that have a spinoff called Haunted High School musical. And there was a traveling tour (sans Efron) and now…wait for it…High School Musical on Ice. Enough. I understand the purspose of a company is to turn a profit and market their items, but this just seems so blatantly greedy it makes me ill. However, I am stroked for the sequel. The plot looks fantas.

Sharpay Evans, the rich girl whom audiences loved to hate in the original movie, is on a campaign to woo Troy, the basketball coach’s son, away from Gabriella. The setting is a luxurious country club owned by Sharpay’s father, where Troy, Gabriella and their East High classmates have all landed summer jobs. Instead of a school musical, the source of conflict (and more than a few songs) is the club’s annual talent show, and Sharpay is scheming to get Troy to perform a duet.

The whole Troy/Sharpay thing comes out of nowhere, I thought she had some innapppriate shit going on with her brother.

Please hurry with that sequel, they all look about 30.

More cheesy rehearsal pictures here.

Oh, and Zac Efron is a dick: “Personally, I feel no competition with the cast because I’m not going for the same things they are. A lot of them are doing teen music things, and tours, various TV deals and other Disney TV movies and Disney albums. That’s the last thing I want to be doing at the moment. I’m setting my sights a little bit higher.” Apparently that means playing Speed Racer.

Okay, I just found another “scripted reality” show on E!, Paradise City, that I can watch at the gym and laugh at the general douchebaggery. Are these people serious? Rick and his pathetic trendy hair and increbibly shitty band. Willie, the apparently “gorgeous” one that wears a t-shirt that says “half-man, half-horse”. It’s like they transplanted Laguna Beach kids in Vegas. Every archetype is there. The guy with the shitty band, several blonde women that look alike, the brunette feisty one, the “good” girl. Good job, E!, but not quite as good as Love in in the Heir.

New video for the song “I Don’t Love You”. Oh, Gerard. I am realizing more and more each day that I lurve this album.

Squeeee! My favorite guilty pleasure, The Academy Is…has a new video about their upcoming album.

Fun fact: the video was directed by one of Madonna’s (hot) dancers.

Pete Wentz, you have GOT to be kidding me. Stop trying so damn hard!

The article is pretty good, I still am semi-not-embarassed to call myself a fan. The new album is growing on me.

Read the rest of this entry »

A reality show about models living together in Miami? Why the hell would I want to watch that? Well, I did love Models. Inc. and Living Dolls. Or maybe I wanted to see what the hell good looking people actually think about. I was expecting another Laguna Beach, but the women on the show were actually not unlikeable.  They cared about their careers and actually had some ambition. The men, on the other hand, were so ucking vacant and dull it was hilarious. Teddy was super cute but every time he opened his mouth I had to laugh. Zoolander is pretty much true.

So, can beautiful people really have problems? Well, look at it this way. Models are constantly being judged by their looks, so I guess it can run you down. Sabrina, one of the twins, had some acne and they treated her like she was a Nazi war criminal.

My favorite scene: two of the models went out on a date and they spent the whole time telling each other how good looking they were.
My question is…when is Season 2 coming out?

As someone who considers to be a music fanatic, of course I had the typical knee-jerk reaction to Avril Lavigne. I thought she wastaking the elements of punk and commericalizing and mocking it. Really the tragedy is that I think her record company put her up to it and entirel created her whole image, down to the giving the middle finger whenever she could and acting like a little ounk brat. She’s a victim on cosumerism! Ok, she’s now 22, married, and has some life experience, hopefully, and grown as an artist. After I saw the cover of her new record, I lost hope. How cliche! “Look, my hair is pink! Rawr! I’m a sullen punk! My logo is just like the skull and corssbones! But a pink heart! Because I’m a riot grrrrl!”

And her new song…..ugh. It’s called “Girlfriend” [here] and it makes her old stuff sound like Operation Ivy. Really, Avril, you started something in pop music and now you’ve gone in the wrong direction. Your first album was a little grating, but your second album had some good tunes and started to bring rock more into the mainstream. “Don’t Tell Me” is actually one of my favorite pop songs*. I’m actually going to post a blend of the better songs from both albums here. I’m not posting both albums because someone of it is absolute shit. Ok, I’ll admit, I do rock out to “Sk8ter Boi”. When I am in a band again, I’m thinking of doing a cover. Ironically, of course.

*Don’t judge.

[FALL OUT BOY; Infinity on High] [Multiply] [yousendit]

I guess it was inevitible that I was going to post the new Fall Out Boy album. Now, hear me out. It’s a good pop-rock album. That’s right. I said pop. A lot of the people that wouldn’t even give them the time of day probably compare them to punk bands, but that’s unfair. They write very good radio-friendly tunes. And that’s okay. This album has no surprises, it sounds pretty much like their last album. The one annoying song is “Thriller”, where Jay-Z does a rap intro. You heard me right. It’s also about their rise to fame and the perils of being famous. I hate that. The recognition of thefame is the jump the shark moment. Their video also mocks their fame. Get over it and just make music.

In the multiply playlist, I’ve also included other songs from past albums that, if you have an open mind, you may realize that they are pretty catchy. I also think Patrick Stump has a pretty good voice.

Judge if you will, I enjoy some Fall Out Boy now and then and I am not ashamed.

I haven’t revealed any guilty pleasures lately.

If you are prodicing a sexy teen romp movie or show, you are under contract to use “Dirty Little Secret” in the promo or movies. If you have a scene in a primetime show or MTV docu-reality show that includes someone trying to feel empowered and the rights the KT Tunstall’s “Suddenly I See” is too expensive, use “Move Along”. Really, this album is pretty catchy.

[ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS; Move Along]

I don’t know why people didn’t like Madonna’s latest album, I think it’s her best since the 80s. Maybe because it’s similar to eighties dance. I also love the recent look and concept.

[MADONNA; Confessions on a Dance Floor]

Read the rest of this entry »

Well, it’s the end of an era.

Benji Madden is engaged.

Erin, don’t put your head in the oven.

Remember, all songs are uploaded here. Check out part one, part two, part three, and part four.

Read the rest of this entry »

continues today with She’s Out of Control. Who in the holy hell greenlighted this movie? And were teenagers/high school really like that? But, there is nothing better than makeovers and makeover montages, and this is basically a movie full of them. I truly believe this movie alone gave me eating disorders and major self-loathing issues. I was OBSESSED with the girl’s wardrobe in the movie. Although she looked like a whore through the whole thing. This was a time when wearing thigh high lace stockings with miniskirts was the height of coutoure. I used to try to recreate the clothes on my Barbies.