ad hoc.

South Park is a really good show. Does anyone actually watch it anymore? I’m randomly watching Season 4 and laughing my ass off.

Northern California weather is March is fucking heaven. It makes my whole move across the country thing worth it. Almost.

The new Raconteurs album is really freaking good. You know why? It sounds like a White Stripes album.

God, I love Radar magazine. They countdown the most misogynist movies ever.

Origin of the Species: How Gay tv characters evolve.

Elliot Spitzer hooker is the new face of feminism…somehow.

As if I couldn’t hate ScarJo enough…now I see the obnoxious promo pics she has done for her even more obnox album.

What? JPod was made into a show?

It’s always sad when someone dies. It’s especially sad when an attractive person dies. My first words after I find out were “I hope he finished filming The Dark Knight.”

Clive Owen makes me feel funny…down there.

I just rented the So NoTORIous dvds just for Zachary Quinto.

Other fun fact: The Star Trek trailer will run before Cloverfield.

Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey are going to be gay together! The only thing better would be a movie where Ewan does it with Christian Bale while wearing eye makeup. What? That exists? Little known fact about me: I find Jim Carrey oddly attractive. I know! Ew! We are not talking Ace Ventura era, we are talking post-2004, Jenny McCarthy-dating, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Jim Carrey. I’ll bet they are going to change the plot where the two guys are just bffs, not lovers. But a girl can dream.

This movie makes me want to rip out my ovaries and stomp on them until they are bloody pulp, if this is what being female is all about.

The “plot”:

A young woman (Heigl) who has made a career out of being a bridesmaid but never a bride faces her worst nightmare when her sister (Malin Åkerman) becomes engaged to the man of her dreams. Luckily, the wedding brings around the man (Marsden) who will change her bridesmaid status for good, along with the help of her nephew Brett (Ryan Laskey).

How much do you want to bet there will be montages set to Kt Tunstall or some shit like that? Or I’ll bet there will be a zany chase scene and the couple finally meet up on a busy street, stopping traffic, and when they kiss the whole city will cheer. Oh, how about a scene where the main character gets depressed and some girlfriends arrive with some chubby hubby to cheer her up. Maybe an overcontrolling mother? Probably a sterotypically gay wedding planner in there too. I’ll bet the sister will have cold feet the day if her wedding but Katy Heigl will calm her down and convince her to go through with it, even though she loves James and it will be the most selfless.act.anyone’s.ever.committed. Oo, ooo, oo, I’ll bet James will realize he loves Katy Heigl right when he is at the latar before he says “I do” and announces his true love to everyone, devastating the sister, but then they will get married but the SISTER will have to be the bridesmaid. Hardy har! I could go on forever.

But damn you James Marsden! Stop being charming and wasting your hypnotic bone structure in these crappy movies. You are cyclops! Cyclops doesn’t deal with this shit, he fucking kills people with his eye lasers. Get a grip.

First things first…how awful is the SATC movie trailer? I can’t bring myself to watch. Please let me know how horrid it is. [youtube link]

Um…uh…I need to be alone for a minute.

I’m Learning To Share!: Fashion ads from Ebony Magazine, 1970 - ‘76

Black Kids: Artist to Watch 2008 Hate the name, love this band.

The Joker Revealed Early! - Superhero Hype! Looks pretty stupid, imo.

A First Show for Banksy in New York Went overnight from vandalizing subway cars to being a favorite of Brangelina.

It’s news like this that made me wish I never left New York.

Seth Rogen’s Girlfriend: Pissy, Pretty [Snap Judgment] I am so jealous I could scream.

Christian Bale needs to understand that he doesn’t need to take EVERY ROLE HE IS OFFERED.

Whaaaa? Dropkick Murphys on CNN?

Speed Racer movie: stupid or awesomely kitschy?

Anthiny Bourdain + Queens of the Stone Age + food = my ultimate fantasy

Against my better judgement I saw Enchanted. Oh hell, who am I fooling, I intiated the whole outting. I needed something totally mindless and entertaining. Although I swore off Disney movies forever, I figured a Disney movie that makes fun of Disney movies would be good. They really did have a go at themselves, and the beginning animated sequence included every cliche in Disney movies. I am not sure if the kiddies will get the sardonic respresentation, but oh well. However, in true Disney fascism, they are equal opportunity offenders, where they showed stereotypes of “supposed” Middle Eastern cab drivers, angry black women, horny gay men, and practically crucifed the chipmonk. The whole love story thing made me cynical too- how did they really end up together? Does she even use the bathroom? How do they explain their relationship to people? And I don’t think that was part of the irony. Also, I am over Patrick Dempsey at the heartthrob. I was kind of on the bandwagon when he made his comeback, but I’m over it. I think they should totally re-release Loverboy.

But James Marsden, be still my heart, totally played the dumb prince to perfection. Check out the tights! My obsession with him is growing. I also saw Hairspray this weekend and passed a couple of Gap ads with him in it as well. His bone structure can solve world peace.

I’ve really held back on posting the hot celebrity pics on here, mostly because it was out of control and mostly because I now have this. However, I have a new celeb obsession that I need to shout to the world! I need to shout it to the rooftops!

Zachary Quinto. Damn. The moment he cut open someone’s heads and ate their brains on Heroes I knew it was meant to be. I haven’t fell this hard since Ewan McGregor.

And then even better news- my prominently-browed imaginary boyfriend will be playing a young Spock in the Star Trek movie. Is it wrong that him with the Spock ears totally does it for me? I’m sick.

Did a little research and found he played the gay assistant on So NoTORIous. I considered renting the season on dvd, but really, that’s going too far. So I managed to snag this clip, if you sit through the first half of Tori’s horse face, you can see Zinto half naked in a sauna making out with another man.

Remember when I said I look like a pregnant Isla Fisher? Here’s the proof.

So after waiting maybe a year or more, I finally sat down and watched Factory Girl. God, how dreadful. I’d prefer it to be about Andy Warhol because he is a pretty fucked up guy. In this movie he played the quirky gay sidekick. And really, who the fuck cares about Edie Sedgwick? She is really annoying and didn’t do much but look pretty. But uh. mah. gawd. Hayden Christiansen is beyond hot as the Bob Dylan character. Like, it was kind of unbelievable. It almost made up for the dreadful dialogue and acting.

He is not even trying anymore. His new one looks like it was spliced from his other movies. Despite the Ewan factor, it looks gawd awful.

He is beyond DM! Bite that carrot, Clive!

Some bar in New York has a drink called The “Heathers” and it is blue and served in a coffee mug. I should have thought of that and make a killing. Pun intended, bwah hah!

Rolling Stone, god bless them, has a cover story about the old school Guns N Roses. Oh, Axl, remember those days? Where you attacked audience members! And were in therapy eight hours a day?

How awesome does Californication look?

Ann M. Martin is writing again!

Quick perc roundup: SBC, Bale, Clive Owen, Cillian. More to come.

Just some thoughts on my weekend…

There is an open-air amphitheater only a few blocks from where I live, and there are concerts there once every few weeks, and I didn’t realize that the sound carries so much…but Friday night I heard Daft Punk loud and clear while I was sitting in my living room. NOYCE! The White Stripes are coming in a few weeks, so I will be able to hear Jack White screeching from the comfort of my own home. If you know what I mean.

I’ve been absent from live music for so long, and I broke my streak on Saturday when I saw M.I.A. I was totally blown away, and I have a total girlcrush. I think she may be even short than me. By the by, I got a copy of her new album and it blows my mind. I sent it to a couple of you already.

Have you seen The Two Coreys on A&E? I’m surprised some high-brow channel like A&E would totally jump on the has-been stars bandwagon, but come on, it’s the Coreys! (Haim and Feldman, for those of you raised under a rock). Okay, so it is totally staged, but it is ironically touching. Corey H. gets all pumped about the idea of making Lost Boys 2, and then Corey F. has to sit him down and let him know someone is already making it, and they didn’t want him. It was a lil heartbreaking to see a bloated Corey Haim crying and wondering where his life and career went. Also, Corey F.’s annoying and co-dependent wife is always getting in the way when Corey H. just wants to hang with his best bud. Riveting television. t also made me realize that I must have seen License to Drive about a gazillion times. I don’t remember even liking it. [Check out the Times take on it.]

Oh jeez, I am embarassed to admit this, but I sat through an episode of Rock of Love (essentially Flavor of Love but with Bret Michaels). I have never heard “bitch” and “slut” used so freely, and that’s just among the women. VH1 thinks they own the rights to popular culture. Seriously, they should be ashamed of themselves for exploiting these horrendous stereotypes for the sake of ratings. I bet they believe they are so far ahead with their programming, where they are seriously setting everyone back. Regardless I did watch it. Part of me was insanely jealous because I want to nail Bret Michaels. YES I KNOW he is gross and incredibly pathetic, but in my tween years he was my ultimate fantasy. I watched the Every Rose has its thorn video about a thousand times because at the beginning he gets out of bed in his bikini briefs. I hate myself.

Other than that, I officially finished The Deathly Hollows, and I will write my official stance on it soon. So prepare yourselves, it won’t be 100% positive. I also started reading Punk Rock Dad, more about that soon.

Who the hell even wears Gap clothes anymore? But apparently JOHN MAYER DOES, and he’s in the new ad campaign. Holy shit.

You finally realize that you are too old to watch MTV. I sat through the MTV movie awards, getting douchechills the whole time. I am seriously too old for this shit. Sarah Silverman was actually kind of funny. Although I am not a fan, I felt bad because her brand of humor went right over their heads and most of the audience sat there pretty dumbfounded. There were incredibly homophobic moments throughout, which is always amazing. Awesome. Rihanna did a performance and looked like shit. The whole thing was a huge commercial for the Tranformers the movie, which looks really dumb. The only highlights were Zac Efron looking cute and obviously being totally psyched to be there, Amanda Bynes looking like an orange hooker, Sascha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell making out, just as I had hoped for, Amy Winehouse giving a fantastic live performance of “Rehab”, and Johnny Depp proving he is the coolest mofo alive. I swear, he stopped aging at 32.

Don’t forget to vote for the sexiest vegetarian.  Of course, Joaquin will always be te reigning king, but Justin Theroux? Mos Def? It’s a toughie.

Although that I am annoyed that I am getting my news from Perez Hilton, John and Jessica are DUNZO!

“He was way tipsy and was spending a lot of time with an ugly brunette that was not Jessica Simpson,” a spywitness tells us.

Apparently, they mean me.

Yes, the template changed, the other was easy for me to manage from the road. Don’t like the constant changing? Deal with it.

While, I was away, some breaking news!

• The Informers Film Is A Go
• Ewan McGregor Earns Minimum Wage, but doesn’t show peen…this time
• Zanessa: It’s Official! : they couldn’t hide it for long!
• Misshapes-The Band? why God why?

In a few short hours I’ll be back on the plane home. Sigh.

You know my feeling on lists, and there have been a ton of them lately.

Worst to Best movies based on comic books. Batman Begins! X-Men! No, they weren’t on top.

The Pink List: most influential gays. Will Young? Huh?

25 saddest songs ever. I love every one of them.

Top 25 Scifi moments. What, no Roswell?

Also, Ginger Spice and David Walliams DATING? WTF?

Because I Said So + The Last Kiss + Keeping the Faith + Mrs. Doubtfire =

LICENSE TO WED!

John Krasinski, you are terribly adorable, but make terrible character and film choices. This looks so horrible. So bad I may need to go see it and liveblog through the whole thing.

This is kind of pathetic…Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal are reprising their roles as Roger and Mark. Give it up! It was ten years ago! I think the characters are supposed to be 22, tops. Also, the show is about as relevant as video cassette rewinders. Anthony R. cannot let go…he recently wrote a book about being in the show and I saw him speak last year and he was still talking about it. Ugh. And it makes me mad that tourists are spending $100 to see that show. I knew a woman who had seen it 11 times and liked to brag about it. Yes, I hated her.

Yay! I have discovered what I will be doing this summer. Rome season 2 is out August 14. Extras season 2 is out July 10.  Heroes comes out sometime in August too.

celebcrushwatch: Eric Bana talks about wearing codpieces,  Cillian Murphy, DM! and again! Patty Wolf at the Virgin mega…back to red hair.

Phew! Patrick Wolf is not reeeaaaaally quitting. He was kind of being a baby. To celebrate, let’s peruse through 400+ pictures of him. I swear, it’s not my photobucket account.

I just heard that Peter Andre died. Not sure if it’s true or not.

Legally Blonde is out on Broadway. Gimme a fucking break. Ugh.

I also heard that Larry David will be guest starring on Hannah Montana. Not sure if it’s true or not.

Coming soon: Ewan McGregor’s face, moles and all, will appear on a postage stamp. God bless America.

Courtney Love plans on selling Kurt Cobain’s belongings. There was never a time more than now that I wished there was an afterlife. So Kurt can haunt Courtney and scare the shit out of her.

This is hopeful X-Men sequel news:

Batman Begins writer David S. Goyer is setting his sights on another superhero property - he is directing the spin-off movie to the X-Men trilogy, Magneto. The movie will focus on the young Magneto, the villain of the X-Men pictures played by Gods and Monsters star Ian McKellen, and how he became mortal enemies with character Professor X, played by Star Trek: The Next Generation actor Patrick Stewart in the trilogy. The main characters in the spin-off will be played by actors in their twenties instead of the original cast. Goyer has previously worked on superhero movies Batman Begins and the Blade trilogy.

Well, batman Begins was one of the best comic-book-to-film movies ever, so it’s promising. BUT they need to cast a hunky Jewish boy as young Magneto. My votes? Adam Brody, Zac Efron. Gaspard Ulliel can play Professor X. I seriously should work as a casting agent. I am sure it is an easy field to break in to.

Jake shopping at Whole Foods. Sad thing is…I can’t decide what is more appealing, him in the white t-shirt or his groceries.

John and Jessica may be getting married. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Evangeline Lilly gets Punk’d. I have GOT to start watching Lost.

Tons of shirtless Prince Harry photos have been all over. I’ll admit I am looking, but is it me or does he look like a complete asshole/wiseass.

John Krasinski is in some incredibly dumb rom com with Mandy Moore. But he looks pretty cute. Isn’t that what matters?

William Beckett brings the thinspiration for emo boys.

A night out with the Klaxons.