ad hoc.

Wow, I read this one straight for two and a half days. I am now officially obsessed with the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints. Not as in, I want to be a part of it, but I am fascinated about how a religion that is less than 200 years old is such a strong influence on so many people. There are actually records of the actions and words of its founders, and dispite lots of discepencies and hypocrisy, people are still strong believers.

I’ve decided that I need to be more educated about organized religion. I have always taken the stance that I am completely put out by organized religion, but in order to bolster that opinion, I would like to understand more about what people get out of their religious faith. Something that struck me most about this depiction of those of the LDS faith is how happy with their lives they are. You know what? I believe that they are. Sometimes I wonder if I would be “happier” if I were so entrenched in a religion. Perhaps I would be. However, I am willing to give that up for more nonconformity and rational outlook. Hmmmm.

And before you ask, yes, I have been watching Big Love. It’s aight. For a tiny, tiny millisecond of a moment, I had the thought that it would be appealing to be a wife in a polygonous family. (Not the crazy Texas compound way, but in the Chloe Seveigny sense.)

I really, really, really want to visit Salt Lake City.

Okay, Okay, I know I always gush over a new band or book or movie and say it changed my life, but for this time it is for realsies. I’ve heard about this one for a long time, but my book club chose this one so it gave me an excuse.

Ignatius J. Reilly is the person we always fear we will become- sloppy, unattractive, no way of interacting in a normal social way and on the fringes of society. But so awesome. His correspondence with Myrna Minkoff are the best things I have ever read. Since reading this, I have been thinking in Ignatius like sentiments. In the class I teach someone turned in a crappy assignment and I almost shrieked, “What sort of literary abortion have you subjected me to? Oh Fortuna, why do you but me in the presence of such fucking morons?”

Pretty entertaining and it took place in San Francisco. I’d read more of his stuff, if I have the time. I have a hefty reading list to get through.

WHen I heard Chuck Palahnuik talk about his next book, Snuff, I thought he may actually be kidding, but I guess not. It looks frigging awesome.

Palahniuk’s audacious ninth novel tells the story of Cassie Wright, an aging porn queen who intends to put an exclamation point on her career by having sex with 600 men in one day on film. The story begins with Mr. 600—the pornosaur who introduced Cassie to the business—as he describes the other 599 actors awaiting their moment on screen. The perspective then shifts to Mr. 72, an adopted Midwestern 20-something who is one of the many young men claiming to be Cassie’s long-lost son. Mr. 137, a has-been television star hoping to revive his career, wants to ask Cassie’s hand in marriage so that the two can star in a reality TV show. But for a novel centered around a gargantuan gangbang, there’s surprisingly little action; the small amount of narrative movement takes place backstage, where the characters attempt to get a sense of one another while waiting for their number to be called. There are sharp moments when Palahniuk compassionately and candidly examines the flesh-on-film industry, but mostly this reads like a cross between the Spice Channel and Days of Our Lives.

Finally finished Chuck’s (we’re on a first-name basis) fourth book, a collection of his past writings and ramblings. More proof that we are destined to be bffs: he wrote a whole a piece for Spin in which he viewed VH1 Classic for twenty-four hours and wrote about the nostalgia he felt, as well as the shame for once liking some of it. Um, CHELLO? I do that on this blog.

And also…CHUCK IS NOW MY FACEBOOK FRIEND!

I am really speechless after reading this. Fantastic. A superhero story that is aware of the implausability of superheroes. A comic within a comic. Campiness but seriousness. Alan Moore is a genius. A fucking crazy egomaniacal genius.

Of course, there’s a movie coming out and of course I already hate it. However, Zack Snyder is doing it, who directed the awesome Dawn of the Dead and 300. Despite not liking 300, he did stay true to the original graphic novel. Although pictures of the characters already have me doubtful- all of them look like they were redesigned to be “sexier”. And I am not sure if he is going to keep some of the campiness that is in the book. Some things that worked in the book (Dr. Manhattan exiled to Mars) can work in a comic form, but maybe not in a movie.

I’ve been continuing my foray into graphic novels by reading some Daniel Clowes. He is most known for writing Ghost World, which the movie was based on. And you all should know by now that I WORSHIP THE CHARACTER OF ENID. Please tell me I remind you of her even if you don’t believe that.

The movie is pretty awesome and one of the best adapatations of a previously written work that I’ve seen. The novel is fantastic and is really original, and quite touching I might add (the movie also makes me cry).

Then I read David Boring, but the storyline is way out there, whereas Ghost World is a pretty staightforward narrative. It goes from the character being obsessed with his cousin, to an end of the world scenario, to a murder mystery on an abandoned island, to a lesbian kidnapping a lover, to stalking, but all in such a naturalistic tone that the story seems natural. I hear this one is also being turned into a movie, but good luck. I’d be interested in reading more stuff. I love the drawing style.

I finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It’s not something I would have chosen myself, it’s for a book club. Hmmm, don’t know about it. It was a post-apacolyptic world, so you’d think I’d love it, but it read more like a short story than a novel to me. The interesting parts were the descriptions of the actual survival techniques, like how they built makeshift lanterns and the things they savaged from abandoned boats etc. Isn’t this an Oprah book? That means it already is going to be made into a movie…wait, yup it is, starring Viggo. I am not sure how that will work for movie audiences, there is a lot of ambiguity and unexplained plot points in the book, such as the characters don’t even have names, you are not sure if they even survive at the end, and we are not told what was the cause of the world’s demise. I like that, but audiences will not.

Here’s what is next on my reading list:

• An Abundance of Katherines
• Hubert’s Freaks
• Beautiful Children
• Helen of Troy
  

Continuuing on my graphic novel quest, I’ve finished V for Vendetta. Wow. No words. The story was amazing, set in a future world (1998, but it was written in the early 90s) anf many themes and fantastic drawing with really intense scenes. I don’t think I want to see the movie, it will definately not be good. Next up, The Watchmen by the same author, soon to be a watered-down Hollywood movie.

Thanks for Andrew for the rec.

Confession: I’ve never actually red Tom Perotta, but I’ve really enjoyed the movies he’s inspired (Little Children, Election). I really like the way he depicts suburban life. He’s not mocking it, but somehow portrays the sometimes mundane privilege of it. I am sure some readers can be frustrated because there is no real final ending. That’s my favorite thing in a novel. A novel should really be just a slice of someone’s life, already in progress, and something that ends but you know the stories and struggles still continue (the walking into the sunset, happily ever after endings are total bullshit). I just really like the way he describes characters. I won’t go into the plot but one character is a former addict who has found Jesus and is in a pretty radical church whose mission is to proselytize and has a conflict with another woman who is agnostic. The easy way would be to describe the character as the crazy Christian, but somehow I could kind of see both sides and perspectives of the characters. Although I like the way things are not resolved, at the same time I wanted t keep reading about these characters. It read like a sublime HBO series about suburbia (very Weeds-esque). Hint, hint, producers.

I’m also starting to read Omnivore’s Dilemma (so is everyone and their mother).

I heard about the Grimm Fairy Tale Comics at WonderCon, and I was intrigued. I think the idea of updating fairy tales is a intriguing idea, and I am not talking about the sapfest Enchanted. Making it more dark and sick like the original Grimm Brothers intended. Well, I got a volume of the first series of issues and what crap. It kind of promotes the stereotype that comic book artists are nerdy guys who could never get girls so they have to draw them. The women in there are ridiculously slutty and porn star like and strut around with inecessarily skanky outfits. With the dumbest stories- like in Little Red Riding Hood, the woodsman was so in lust for LRRH that he turned into a flesheating wolf because she drove him insane with lust. Like it’s Red’s fault for being so slutty. It makes the Sleeping Beauty series seem like Shakespeare (not likeI’ve read them….)
Examples:

I think Cinderella is going to get some serious back problems trying to run away with that chest:

The Wicked Witch shops at Frederick’s of Hollywood and at Rave.

Um, yea.

Heterosexuality is so gross sometimes.

I just finished reading There’s a Slight Chance I’m Going to Hell, the first novel by Laurie Notaro, who had previously written several books of hilarious autobiographical essays. She has a really great way of writing about funny situations that make them inheritantly funny but without punchlines. It was pretty realistic at first with a bit of the slapstick by the end.

I have been listening to the audio version of Stephen Colbert’s I Am America, And So Can You, and it is hi-larious. I think listening to it in his own voice is even funnier than reading it. And Amy Sedaris as the old cat lady is an added bonus. Special bonus appearance by Mr. Jellinek. Sometimes I worry that not everyone who reads this understands the concept of satire. Maybe they are listening to his rampant homophobia and glorification of Christianity and actually believing it and agreeing it, instead of realizing he is illustrating the ridiculousness of it. Just like I fear for the fans of South Park and Reno 911 (um, season 5 premiere this week!). Satire, people! Look into it!

So trashy, but so good.

As a stand alone novel, it was nothing life-changing. But as a rabid Douglas Coupland fan, any prose that he writes is genius to me. He has a knack for writing a train of thoughts from “ordinary” people that make them fascinating. One of the characters is also writing a novel called Glove Pond, which reads almost like a Bret Easton Ellis novel. How does he do it? Is his writing effortless? Or does he excruciate over every sentence? I think these are my favorite Coupland novels, from favorite to least-favortie.

Microserfs
Girlfriend in a Coma
JPod
Eleanor Rigby
Shampoo Planet
Hey Nostradamus!
The Gum Thief
Generation X
All Families are Psychotic
Life After God
Polaroids from the Dead
Miss Wyoming (I totally loathed this one)

Believe it or not, these days I am finding time to read other stuff besides Sweet Valley High.

You all know how much I love James St. James. His memoir Disco Bloodbath was entertaining but wasn’t exactly a literary feat, so I was skeptical about his first fiction novel. But I haven’t laughed so hard at a book since Superstud. Or found a story, well, endearing. The main character, no doubt based on the author, is an extremely flamboyantly gay teenager who is beginning school at an ultra-conservative, WASPY, private school. The observations and interactions are of course wuite entertaining, but he is violently harassed, which, not too funny, but it addressed, albeit satirically. Finally he befriends the popular boy in school, who it turns out has a touch of the gay. I usually don’t say this about books, but this would make a fantastic movie. And I’d like to see Zac Efron in the role of the pretty popular boy.

Mortified is a collection of writings, memoirs, letters, etc. from various people’s teenage years. Mostly people’s exerpts from their journals. I’ve considered putting pieces of my childhood journals on this blog, but then thankfully decided against it. Again, incredibly hilarious and also a little but sad. The best ones are one miserable boy’s correspondence with his parents from camp, some embrassing Duran Duran fan fiction, and unsent love letters. I think this is also based on a stage show.

I love Douglas Coupland so much it is physically painful. Sure, Miss Wyoming was a piece of crap. But JPod? Genius. Even more awesome is that he created short films as a teaser to the upcoming novel The Gum Thief. Oh Douglas, you make Canadians seems a thousand times more awesome than us.

I’ve wanted to do this list for a long time. Whenever I read or watch anything with the typical protagonist/antagonist model, I find myself sympathizing with the villain. Usually their reasons for being who they are are overlooked and taken for granted. Plus, villains are always just way more interesting. Here are some of my favorite (and most misunderstood) villains.

Severus Snape, Harry Potter

• Why people hate him: he’s mean to Harry Potter, doesn’t kiss his ass, he’s often grumpy, not traditonally good-looking, oh and at one point he was a death eater
• Why he is misunderstood: He loved Lily but she went for that conceited asshole James Potter. He was constantly tortured by James and Sirius’ clique, and got passed up for the Defense Against the Dark Arts year after year. That’s kind of a shitty deal, you can’t really expect him to be happy and skipping around and to fall in rank and worship Potter. Give him a break.

Miss Hannigan, Annie

• Why people hate her: she’s a drunk, she treats the orphans like crap
• Why she is misunderstood: Hey. it’s the Great Depression; running an orphanage can’t be easy and it’s a thankless job. It’s not like she is getting a lot of federal funding. Plus, that bratty precocious Annie becomes a gazillionare overnigh and does she get anything?

Nellie Olsen, Little House on the Prairie

• Why people hate her: she’s a total beotch to everyone, she flaunts her money and is always out to get the Ingalls
• Why she is misunderstood: With a mother like that, can you blame her? Look what her role model is. Her mother totally puts so much pressure on her to be the best and her parents are always fighting and do not role model healthy relationships to her. Also, that Ingalls family is so fucking perfect and condescending to everyone. Plus, Laura is always breaking the rules but getting away with it, even rewarded for it. I’d hate her too.

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

• Why people hate her: She’s seemingly evil, makes her living off of taking things from others, and is not a size zero, singing, glossy-haired mermaid like Ariel
• Why she is misunderstood: Not everyone comes from a privileged, royal undersea family like Ariel, so why shouldn’t she take advantage of a little capitalism?

Magneto, X-Men (movies)

• Why people hate him: He wants to kill all humans.
• Why he is misunderstood: He is a Holocaust survivor- why should he believe that all humans are kind? He’s seen the ruling class try to exterminate those who are “different”. He’s only trying to make sure mutants thrive. Plus, his gang have WAY cooler powers than those goody-two-shoes X-Men.

Miranda Priestly, The Devil Wears Prada

• Why people hate her: she’s mean and demeaning to all her employees, and is “mean” to innocent assistants.
• Why she’s misunderstood: Do you think you can rise the ranks of the media empire as a female easily? She had no choice but to be where she is. Plus, she doesn’t need some over-confident recent grad telling her that her work is not real journalism.

More to come!

I never thought I’d be totally into comics, but I have to say Ultimate X-Men is rocking my world, especially volume 9, new mutants. Emma Frost is fantastic, although I am not sure what use her powers are (her skin turns to Crystal). Angel swoops in and looks like Fabio and the Evangelicals thinks he’s an angel of God. Plus, some underground terrorist organization tries to rid the world of normal humans. Nice.

So, why is it generally accepted for women in comic books to be half naked? And why such exaggerated body shapes in both men and women?

So when you think of my interests, you probably think of music. Duh. And when people ask me my interests, I tell them music, and then it sounds dumb. And then they ask me what kind of music I like, and I sound like an ass like I am purposely naming stuff that no one has heard of. Sometimes people ask my what my favorite band is and I totally freeze up and actually get panicky. How can I even choose one? And really, I think I actually enjoy music in different way than other people. And I can’t really explain it to people. However, when people ask me from now on, I think I am just going to hand them a copy of this book.

This is basically a long diatribe about the bands he likes and why. Like me, he associates albums to time periods and current events. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. Not even a romantic way, just rent a house in Berkeley and sit around and talk about music all day. If you want to understand me better and the way I think, read this book. He even loves making lists about music…sound like someone you know? If you don’t read it, you obviously don’t care about me. The second half of the book he gets into his unhealthy obsession with Guided By Voices…I haven’t really drank that Kool-Aid yet.

My envy of John Sellers is like my envy of Chuck Klosterman. Why and how in the hell does he do this for a living? Can I please get a job where I can talk about music all day? Because I do to whoever will listen. And to myself.

Anyway, he blogs too. I am destined to be bffs with John Sellers.

If there’s something I hate, it’s mediocrity. Lately, some things I’ve watched/read have really let me down, considering I’ve had high hopes for it.

Weeds, Season 2.
Ugh, what happened? Season One was really a black comedy with some real feeling. You really sympathized with Nancy Botwin and there was great character development and somewhat realistic storylines. This season turned into some slapstick, set up “comedic” scenes that had no basis in reality. Characters were shallow and it was hard to connect with any of them or care about their story lines. Some were added for no reason at all other than to get some comedy including the incredibly fucking annoying Zooey Daschanel. The only one I still enjoyed was Justin Kirk because I enjoy his creepy/sleazy sense of humor. I am also becoming increasingly irritated with the depiction of the Black characters; as if their “sassy blackness” becomes the whole basis to their character. Characters that were interesting last year basically played no part (Sanjay?) in this series. I don’t like the direction this is taking and I don’t know how Season 3 is doing, but it really felt like a totally different show.

Rilo Kiley- Under the Blacklight
The new album from my favorite fucking band ever is abosultely terrible. Their first two albums were genius, More Adventerous was decent, this is elevator music, plain and simple. Ugh.

Zodiac
I love David Fincher movies. Scratch that. I love love love David Fincher movies (Fight Club, Seven, Panic Room, Madonna’s “Express Yourself” video). But why was this one so goddam boring? Sure, the murder scenes were creepy, but whu could I barely keep my eyes open? I think we’ve also seen Jake Gyllenhaal as the wide-eyed nubie a zillion times before. mark Ruffalo was just going throught the motions.

Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield
Rob Sheffield write the way I think: memories are made from music, and listening to a certain song can take me back, and music is what defines memories for me. He uses mixtapes he found to remember old loves and times his life. I was looking forward to this forever, but god was it boring and whiny. I wonder why the hell he is a music journalist and not.

Interpol- Our Love to Admire
I am really trying to like this, but I think Interpol’s ship has sailed.

So this confirms my theory that I should always keep my standards rock bottom, so I will never be disappointed. However, some things I am looking forward to which I hope will not let me down:

Rome Season 2
The Gum Thief
How Indie Rock Saved My Life
The Boleyn Inheritance
Superbad

I’ve been critical of HP stuff lately and apparently people I talk to re getting very defensive, like how DARE I criticize. I’m not talking about any of you, my dear loyal readers. This whole HP blitz has been quite emotional for me. I’m going to talk about the Order of the Phoenix movie, which I reluctantly drgged myself to see today.

OOTP is my favorite Harry Potter book thus far. Why? Because it begins to get into political allegory about progessivism v. conservatism. Because we get a lot of charcter development and learn a lot more about the complexity of some people’s relationships, and delve into the pasts of a lot of characters. We learn more about Neville’s family, the original Order, why Sirius is such an outcast, the list goes on….

None of that was portrayed in the movie. And I understand that. I understand the art of movie-making in that there is only a finite amount of time one can use to move the story along. They needed to get to the main point, which was a big Harry/Voldemort showdown. Yawn.

So the movie was well done, it was enjoyable, but I had a pit in my stomach the whole time. What astounds me is when they remove plot points. 99% of people who will see this movie has read the books. They know the plot, there is no getting around it. In fact, I have seen close to nothing in terms of marketing of this movie; people just know the date it comes out and then they go see it. So why did they make it that Cho gave up the names of Dumbledore’s army? And that is why Harry loses interest? Um, no, I wanted to see the touchingly awkward Valentine’s date. If I hadn’t read the book twice, I would be totally confused as to why Harry thought Sirius was in the Dept. of Mysteries. Kreacher gave him up, but we did not see that at all. So, why did we even get a glance of Kreacher in the beginning? I know it probably sets us up for the next movie, but still, it did not make sense.

Something else I was looking forward to was when we see Snape’s memory of being tortured by James Potter and company. This give a lot of insight into why Snape is the way that he is and shows Harry that his father and Sirius and Lupin were not the perfect people he has made them out to be. In the movie, we get only a brief flash.

I thought Imelda Staunton did a wonderful Umbridge, but somehow her evil did not come through in the movie like it did in the book. Also, I rully want a kitten room.

Another scene I was greatly anticipating was Fred and George’s major sabotage of the OWL exams. I had heard so much about this scene, I had high hopes. But, seriously, didn’t they do more than just fireworks? Is that really advanced CGI? I thought they also filled the place with suds too. Did they run out of budget?

At the department of mysteries showdown, what was with all the gray swirling around? What is this, Nightcrawler? Just show the magic. And the brain thing. And the thing that makes the bird go from old to young. You know what I mean. Sigh.

And Gawp- was it even necessary? Since they didn’t even explain why Hagrid had him? I guess they needed some comedic relief. Or something.

Luna was pretty cute. But wasn’t she picked from like 100,000 other hopefuls? Was she really the best?

Ok, I’ll try to be positive:
*Loved Tonks. I wished there were more of her.
*We finally see a non-white wizard.
*The flight from Privet Drive to Grimwald place was pretty kick-ass.
*Lupis and Sirius: totally gay for each other.
*Young Snape: emo goth. Cute!
*Ever notice the actress who plays Ginny and the actress who plays Lily Potter look a lot alike? Coincidence?
*Neville is so dapper. I don’t know what that means.

I’m sorry, I had to say something. I am really upset that I haven’t caught the Potter fever. Even though I got a head start on book 7, I still haven’t gotten through it. It’s not grabbing me. I miss them being in Hogwarts and dealing with things from there, not this mess of duels and people from the ministry. I know how it ends, and it just wraps up too neatly. I no longer feel interested in the characters. Correction, I just want more scenes that give character development, not scenes that advance an increasingly complicated plot. The plot has become pure good v. evil, with no real complications or thought-provoking dilemnas. And STILL Harry is devoid of any real personality. He just sits there for a while and every once in a while has an outburst of irrational anger.

It’s like the first five books were cool indie films, and the last two became mindless summer blockbusters.

And some spoiler-y stuff….

Read the rest of this entry »

I have HP Book 7. In pdf format of course. It was dangling there in front of me and there was no way I couldn’t take it. I never felt too guilty about taking music, and now here’s this opportunity and I couldn’t not take it.

I know how it all ends, folks. I am that person. I may have to not be on the internet in fear of revealing.