diabolic scheme

Several of you have been asking me for reading recs, so I made a list with some recent stuff.

So, tonight I will have my grubby paws on a copy of the new Harry Potter. I am kind of in denial. However, I plan on reading non-stop til it is finished, so I may have to disconnect myself from society so I don't read any spoilers.



Gay author Chuck Palahniuk’s books are cult sensations for a literary audience disaffected with most contemporary literature, and the film adaptation of his novel Fight Club earned him an even wider groupie base. So why is it taking so long for his other novels to come to the screen? Currently, three are taking their sweet time making it to celluloid.

Choke, the story of a sex addict and professional fake-choking victim, has been optioned by Bandeira Entertainment ( Requiem for a Dream ) . Survivor, about a plane hijacker, is being circled by the makers of the Keanu Reeves-starrer Constantine—but post-9/11, it may be circled for a long time. And Invisible Monsters, about a disfigured former model and her transgendered friend, is also in development, with Jessica Biel’s name getting tossed around to star. For his part, Palahniuk has been quoted as saying Choke’s production odds are the best right now. Romeo’s not picky—he’s impatient for all of them.

Oh lord. This can be very very good or horrendous.

Hypnotized yet?

how am i not myself

So why does the CVS pharmacy down the street employ surprisingly attractive men? Today I went to pickup my refill of my anti-depressents and also bought deodorant and Reese's peanut butter cups. The guy must have thought I go home depressed and spent the night slathering on the deodorant, stuffing my face with chocolate and masturbating.

I heard a rumor that the Distillers broke up. That sucks. But wait, I'm already over it. Anything besides Coral Fang was nothing to write home about.

Ok, in all serious, though, fuck drinking. It neither impresses me nor makes you a funny or interesting person. Your drinking stories mask the absense of any real personality.

The KKK took my baby away

If it's one thing I love, it's some good satire. And what I love more than that is pop culture satire.

My face hurts like whoah.

The Island is gonna own.

Q and Not U broke up. What the f.

Did I mention my face hurts? I wanna call in sick tomorrow but I will have this huge guilt complex if I do. However, I do have Little House Season 4 from Netflix. (On, it's the one wear Mary goes to see her boyfriend in college in Chicago and he like, totally dances with another girl at the catillion. Woot???)

i’m just a teenage dirtbag

The Comeback is fantabulous. Lisa Kudrow pretty much plays herself and fumbles her way through an improvised faux-reality show. You MUST watch it. if you have HBO, I mean. Suddenly all these shows are gaining success based on awkward moments and characters (Reno 911, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Ft Actress, etc.). Not that I am complaining.

Drop everything you are doing. Walk directly to the theater and see Murderball. Well, it's only playing in New York and LA, so maybe not all of you can do this. It's a documentary the way documentaries should be done (hear that Michael Moore?) It's more than just about the sport, it actually documents quadrapalegic individuals without pitying them, and is actually quite funny. Love the coach's orchestra geek son.

Newsflash! Scandal rocks Middletown, CT! A sculpute installation was put in the lawn of the local senior center. However, the sculptures just happen to be anatomically correct men and boys frolicking with one another. The seniors are going apeshit over them. Some even covered them with a towel. I think it is fucking hilarious.

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Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Pictures taken by Brando Calrissian.

Speaking of men frolicking (my favorite topic, duh), I can't stop looking at this. Maybe it's the obscene amount of time someone spent shotoshopping it. I just can't stop watching it! Waiy, yes I can. I can do without a certain Orlando Bloom. What a shitty whiny guy. Example A: Troy. His character was a spineless piece of crap, and for some reason I think he wasn't acting. Not that the movie was a stellar piece of work. I wonder of Brad Pitt cringes everytime he sees clips of himself emoting in the movie. "HECTOR! HECTOR! HECTOR! HECTOR!" That movie was totally manipulating. I was waiting to see the Trojan horse, and the motherfuckers put it in 10 minutes before the end.

Michael Cunningham's new book, Specimen Days is very good, but so not what I was expecting after the tearjerker Home At the End of the World. An army of kids raised to be terrorists? A futurstic anamatronic hustler on the run with lizard from another planet? He's beein hanging out with Chuck a little too much, methinks.

I don't mean to sound like an old ninny-pinny (I don't know what that means), but when did looking like a complete slut come back? Ladies, jusr because it is summer, I don't need to stare at your navels. And memo to everyone: summer does not mean you can go braless either. There's a little something called "leaving something to the imagination". I can't quite explain it, but this year seems to be worst than the last. And sequins? Only where one thing with sequins on it, tops, or you look like you should be in a first grade dance recital. Oh, and while we are on it, those "moroccan" style belts, you know, the ones that look like a lot of discs attached to each other, are FUGLY! If you were actually in Morocco wearing one over your low slung skirt and slutty tube top, you'd be stoned to death. While I'm on a role, if you are going to wear flip-flops in public (which just….ew), PLEASE for the love of god, learn how to walk in them. Don't drag your feet everywhere. And that's my fashion advice for now.