real time golden globe commentary

7:45pm pre-show

I could cut the sexual tension between Ted Casablanca and Ryan Seacrest with a knife.
I wish Issac Mizrahi would stop molesting everyone.
I think Joaquin Phoenix had plastic surgery to enhance his hrelip. Rawr!
Hilary Swank looks foooyyyyne.

Queen Latifah starts the show off by giving a cheap plug for Last Holiday. Only after that does she acknowledge that it is MLK Day. They automatically cut to shots of Terrance Howard and Chris Rock.

Natalie Portman wearing a dress with lace bracups. Yuck.

Rachel Weisz wins best supporting actress. She looks like ass. I got to see a brief glimse of Darren Aronofsky.

I think Luke Wilson is high

This Brandon Rouse character, the new Superman, is a tool.

I think Sandra Oh peed herself. She is this year’s Cuba Gooding, Jr.

Why is Geena Davis still working?

I didn’t know that Wentworth Miller was nominated. I wonder if he ran into Mariah and they reannacted her video.
Shucks, P Demps lost.

What the hell is Two and a Half Men?
Steve Carrell just won for The Office. He’s better thank Ricky Gervais.

Ryan basically sucker punched Reese in the back when she won. Is Joaquin crying?

Mary Louise Parker beat out the Desperate Housewives. I so want her to get up there and say, “hey, Billy and Claire, FUCK YOU!”

Ha. Zack Braff is kicking back with a bottle of Bud Light.

Shit! Harrison Ford looks ROUGH.

some TV awards. Whatevs.

Zzzzzzz…..the Anthony Hopkins tribute….

Ang Lee is awesome. Btw, who is the hottie sitting next to Heath?

Omg! Cilliam Murphy! I didn’t realize he was there.
Joaquin is on about 20 Xanax. Say it with me, “DM!”

Felicity wins for Transamerica. I hope she won because it was a good performance, not because it is sooooo harrrrrd to play such a despicable character like a transwoman. (insert sarcasm). Her speech was good.

Holy crap, even the clip of Brokeback kind of made me tear up.

Heath loses to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Holy shit, Heath soooooo reminds me of Tim. I’ll prove my theory later.

Ok, Brokeback won. Der. I just realized I wanted to mention that Dennis uaid made dick jokes when he was presenting the movie. It was like he wanted to make sure everyone knew HE wasn’t gay. He might as well said, “I used to bang Meg Ryan!”

Ok, I do think it is good that movies with LGBT themes won, it may give some attention to the issues. There is still a long way to go.

Here is a recap that is way better than this one.

5 thoughts on “real time golden globe commentary

  1. ok so i just tried to get caught up on all your blog activities for liek the last month. Ok the grandma’s boy thing- when I was down in fl I acutally saw it and the big selling point for me and dawn was because terry was in it. it was entertaining. Hey I flew into ft lauderdale too, if one of us had just flipped our FL/brooklyn itenerary we couldve had mad chill time. I just saw brokeback lasat night in miami and there was some laughing butI think most of it came from a group of girls who I would presume to have been ladylovers. some dude yelled “thats disgusting” during one point, but it was way later in the movie so it sort of lost its edge since the guy already sat quietly through most of it. Oh, and do I make it onto your friend list?

  2. This is FANtastic. Can you do this for all shows, since I don’t have a TV? Thanks. Super. P.S. Luke Wilson is always high. I saw him on TRL (don’t ask) and he was REDIC.

  3. P.S. I would especially appreciate it if you did this for the Bachelor, cause I watched it last week and now I’m addicted but obvs I can’t prance into the dorm lounge and demand that we watch it.

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