The Agency

I’m stoked about The Agency, a new “reality” show about a modeling agency. You know how much I love shows about models, but also it is a chance for me to project my own insecurities by scrutinizing people’s appearance.

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More Oscars: my celebrity boyfriends on the red carpet

Some of them with their hookers.

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my oscar picks

of fashion, that is. I tend to like when people dress a bit differently than the norm of strapless evening gowns. With that said, contrary to what most people think, I love Kirsten Dunst’s dress: Very vintage-y. And yay for sleeves.
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She looks awful in this pic, but once she took off that metal armor shrug thing, the folds of the dress were really cool. I love the idea of brown in an evening dress.

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And, because he is hot, Sascha Baron Cohen. And his hooch fiance.

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I also loved Ellen’s first suit, the maroon velvet.

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Now, here is what I don’t understand. When you are an actress and starve yourself for months, why the hell would you wear something that makes you look big? If I were them, I’d wear a dress that says, “look! You can see my whole clavicle!”

Beyonce: gross color, and it looks like her hips are about 10 feet wide. Is she giving birth under there?

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Jennifer Lopex. Just gross. Her free flying boobs look painful. Strap those in.

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Cameron Diaz: the top of that dress looks like my 6th grade graduation dress. Too many flaps. Looks like a folded napskin. Yuck.

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Kate Winselt, I expected more from you. The dress is the color of moldy water. I miss your curves.

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I know she is only 11, but Abigail Breslin looked like shit. I don’t feel bad for hating on a kid.

The Oscars

Sorry to disappoint, but I will NOT be liveblogging the Oscars tonight. I will be at a party, so only the people there will benefit from my witty commentary. I’m not too excited, because I haven’t seen most of the movies. I am always excited to scutinize and drool over the celebs. Gotta go, Clive Owen just arrived at LAX for the ceremony, and I think I’m late to pick him up.

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JAM

Rainn Wilson hosted SNL last night. He’s not a bad actor, I’d like to see him play a more serious role instead of the same character over and over again. The monologue had a really good parody of all the office characters, especially Jim and Pam (or JAM as people are calling them) and their mannerisms.

As much as I think John Keasinski is a cutie, I think it needs to be pointed out AGAIN that his whole character, the eye rolls to the camera, was originated by Martin Freeman (Tim) and Pam’s shy cuteness is entirely stolen from Lucy Davis (Dawn). I’ve said it a thousand times, and I’ll say it again: VIVA LA TIM AND DAWN!