List: Reasons why Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is the worst movie ever made

  • The Silver Surfer, which was completely CGIed creation, was a better actor and had more depth than anyone in the movie
  • Sue Storm’s hair was the exact same color as her face.
  • Sue Storm had better powers, and saved everyone multiple times in the movie, although all was mentioned was that she was hot and she was going to have a beautiful wedding.
  • The Thing was dating a woman who was blind for no reason.
  • When Mr. Fantastic’s arms stretch, so do his clothes. What the fuck? Inspector Gadget was more believable.
  • It made me hate Chris Evans.
  • He runs into someone coming out of the shower in his science lab. WHY IS HE TAKING A SHOWER AT THE LAB AND WHY IS THE BATHROOM RIGHT OFF A PUBLIC HALLWAY?
  • Within three hours, Reed Richards created a planetary homing device complete with a lcd screen remote.
  • An intergalactic cloud was threatening to engulf planet earth. The only people involved with saving it were the fantastic 4, and three miltary officials. All American, of course.
  • They fly from New York to Siberia in a matter of seconds.
  • Since they are in China, they decide to get married Asian-style. Sue Storm dresses like a geisha. There are giggling Japanese women as guests.

Seriously, I don’t even know why I saw it. At least I didn’t have to pay.

6 thoughts on “List: Reasons why Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is the worst movie ever made

  1. Ever seen Jay and silent Bob strike back? This sort of review is what make it so funny. So now we have a movie that is around 90 minutes and critics are back to complaining about a lack of plot development. You need another review length piece to point out all the holes in this guys review, so lets just say you watch a movie about 4 people receiving super powers from cosmic rays and then you try to find problems with the story. Man, try Bridges of madison county or something then.

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