The Onion has still got “it”.

Never fails to crack my stuff up.

WASHINGTON, DC—According to employees at the nonprofit organization Refugees International, each of the four new fall interns has been trying to impress the staff by being the first to solve the refugee crisis in Burma before their internships end in December.

“I don’t mind them attempting to levy sanctions against the Burmese junta or coordinate humanitarian airlifts to the oppressed Karen people on their own time, but we really need them to keep the copier full of paper and ensure we have enough pens,” said the organization’s director, Greg Davidson.

“Besides, solving refugee crises is really the responsibility of paid staffers.” Davidson added that his idea of a model intern is 20-year-old Dartmouth senior Sarah Frazier, who is quiet during staff meetings, shows little outward ambition, and is pretty.

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