please tell me this is a hoax

I don’t even think this is a real movie, I think someone just spliced clips of 27 Dresses The Wedding Planner The Wedding Date My Best Friend’s Wedding Enchanted Sweet Home Alabama together and shat out this abomination. People will not validate my outrage and tell me to get over it, that this is a just a fluff of a movie and to just go and watch it as a guilty pleasure. I’m sorry, relaxing is the last thing I can do when Hollywood promotoes more gendered stereotypes, homophobia as comedy, and the rich white people as the heroes.

Checklist:

  • a wedding as a plot device
  • womanizer receives validation for being promiscuous
  • characters are rich and living in NYC (and are probably ad executives)
  • character is mistaken as gay and that’s funny
  • shopping montage
  • nerds are ridiculed
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so gay

Thank you to whatever higher power decided that I should get the VH1 Classic Channel. No Flava Flav, Top model, just kickass videos from the eighties and early nineties. And whole blocks of metal videos that take me back to the days when I would tape Headbanger’s Ball on the VCR. Even the passage of 10 years makes me cringe at what used to be cool. What will we think of ourselves in 10 years?

Heavy metal of the early nineties was supposedly this uber-hetero display of masculinity, but I would say there are some major gay elements to it. Forget the copious amounts of makeup and haorspray, but the moves and the appearances are megagay.

Exhibit A: Winger’s “Headed For a Heartbreak”. The production value of this video is AMAZING. I remember I used to be obsessed with the dress she is wearing with the heavy shoulderpads and keyhole to show cleavage. At one point it looks like Kip Winger is wearing leggings and an off the shoulder purple tee shirt. CLASSIC.

The Cult is quite awesome and still is today. However, you cn’t help but be drawn to Ian Astbury’s flowing locks (what conditioner does he use) fringed leather pants and sultry moves.

the use of wigs is getting ridiculous

Ok, I am not sure if I like the way Lost is going…I think their are sci fic elements of the show that is cool, but the time travel business makes it a bit ridiculous. The writers are genius in that they have so many stories going and so many theories that tie it together that it makes you keep watching! And after three seasons, there are still so many questions. What the FUCK is the black smoke monster? What is the Dharma Initiative really? What do those people want with Ben? How does he get off the island unoticed? How the hell did John Locke’s father get on the island? Will we ever read the log of the Black Rock? Is it just merely a coincidence he was the same one that conned Sawyer’s parents? And that Claire and Jack are siblings? Why was there a cover up by Oceanic? DAMN YOU JJ ABRAMS! I’M HOOKED!

Notice: Kate’s cleavage, Sayid’s pecs, and Sawyers dimples.

I’m comiced out.

Today at Comic Con was a little bit mellower than yesterday. Oh, um except or the that fact that I MET MISS BEADLE FROM LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE. Why the hell was she even there? She was at the sad autograph booths, which was akward when no one was at someone’s table. I kind of felt bad for them. She was sitting next to the red power ranger. I actually went over and chatted with her, and she was just as nice as Miss Beadle would have been!!!

They were also running movie trailers on a loop for hours which is my idea of heaven. No movies, just trailers.

Oh, ok I GUESS I’ll watch the Oscars tonight. Although I am not excited, I am not really feeling any of the stuff nominated.

Wondercon!

Well, what an adventure! Getting off the BART, I so could so tell who was going and who was not. No judgement though!

I was really mad that I didn’t come in costume. Maybe tomorrow when I go I will go naked, spray paint my body blue, and go as Mystique. Just a thought. Although I couldn’t tell who half the people were supposed to be.

Big bumblebees?

Creepy blue ninjas who hung out in a corner?

Creepy Cosplay Couple?

The Star Wars people were off the hook.

That group at the full on imperial guard, other people in unform, the senators, etc. Other cool costumes? A group dressed like the Torchwood gang. Although if they were not together, you couldn’t tell. Tons of goth girls dressed like Emily the Strange. Surprise, surprise.

And the celebs! Squee!

David Duchovny on the jumbotron:

John Cho talking about the new Harold and Kumar movie (showed some clips, looks awesome. Commence intense crush on John Cho. Notice the magical glow around his aura).

Then there was the “celeb” area of the exhibition room that I couldn’t go near because it was just too painful…Lou Ferrgno, The original Hulk was totally hamming it up.

As I was walking by to find the restroom, I made eye contact with some guy at his booth who apparently used to be a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger, and when we looked at each other, I saw the look of pure deperation and longing to hold on to those couple of episodes ten years ago. Yeesh.

I was outside taking a smoke break down on some steps leading down to a service entrance and who plops down next to me but Peter Mayhew (the original Chewbacca), who to tell you the truth, does not look good. I was dying to ask if he is making a living off being Chewbacca all these years and relying on these appearances. I mean, who am I to judge? I’d probably do the same thing.

What else? Took a lot of willpower not to by tons of stuff. There were action figures I had no idea were even action figures.