I have to lay off the crack before bedtime.

Oh man, this dream was a doozy. Thanks to those who keep telling me I married Bret Michaels, I had a really vivid dream last night that I was on Rock of Love. And wouldncha know, I had made it to the top three contesetants, so the show’s finale was an intense judging. I also want to add that one of the other three was a guy, so maybe Bret swings or I was mixing it up with Shot At Love With Tila Tequila. So, for the final “date”, we had to choose a book that we liked and come and discuss it. (I KNOW!) Thinking that Bret was a moron, I chose a Sweet Valley High book. And one that I didn’t actually read, but I figured I could make up the plot and probably be right. Although at the final date, it wasn’t just Bret, but the producers, some of his friends and even some professors. I suddenly felt kind of shy and annoyed, and I heard them talking about what sort of marks they were giving me. (I got a C on my book report, and a C because I didn’t give Bret flowers before the date.) Luckily, a friend of mine happened to be there so I dragged him over to the bar to have a bitch session about the process, saying I wanted to just quit and get the hell out of there, the show was bullshit, etc etc. The producer of the show overheard me and I got in trouble so they banished me to a nearby hotel. I told her my plan, that I just wanted to leave, and I wanted to tell Bret that we weren’t meant for each other, and I would leave gracefully and let one of the other two people throw themselves all over him. Once Bret heard that, he was really mad because HE didn’t want to be rejected before he could reject me. So I compromised and I said I would do it on camera and make a big emotional scene to make some good tv. They agreed to that, so I started picking out what I was going to wear, and to my horror, all my clothes suddenly became see-through. And then I woke up in a cold sweat. The end.

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