confession

Oh my. This is embarrassing. I downloaded a mix of the top 100 songs on the 90s, and “My Heart Will Go On” came on and I teared up a little. WHO AM I?

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HSM2

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“I am more interested in what my friends think of me than what I think of myself” is the powerful line delivered by Troy Bolton in the denouement of High School Musical 2, which I finally watched this morning. Is that really supposed to be inspiring?

HSM2, as it’s known to the true fans, could either be a film that lacks self-awareness or is so self-aware it’s all a joke on us. Watching it, I would think it’s a parody of all cheesy musicals. The extreme overacting (I’m looking at you, Corbin Bleu), the hackneyed plot, the horrible musical numbers, etc. I also feel like some of the staging was so bad, why didn’t they reshoot the scene? Sometimes I had to turn away, especially during Zac Efron’s tour-de-force “Bet On It” dance through the golf course.

I don’t like to go on things based on stereotypes, but this was also one of the gayest movies I’ve ever seen. How can Ryan Evans NOT be gay? The fashion sense, the momma’s boy complex, he does musical theater, always hangs out with his sister. Sharpay is practically a drag queen with her makeup, costumes and over the topness. And pretty boy Zac Efron is basically molded from plastic during the movie and is practically the archetype of a twink.

Maybe the creators had this in mind, and wanted to make a campy parody movie. Or maybe they thought they were making a really good musical. Yikes.

And it has to be said, this one pales in comparison to the original, where the songs were catchy and well done, for pop songs. I wasn’t feelin’ any of the songs in this one, except maybe “Gotta Go My Own Way” because it was a bit cheesy and sounded like your archetypal broadway show-stopper.

I’m relevant

Wow! Someone else is also bothered that Bad Brains are doing promos on MTV. Okay, it’s not just me. None of the kids watching even gets the relevance or the awesomeness…but then again, no one FORCED Band Brains to do it. Yes, maybe they need the paycheck to be able to start making music again, but isn’t being on MTV against absolutely everything they stand for?

Thank god the writer’s strike is over! It looks like Battlestar will have a complete season. Seriously, thank god. I know I make fun of all those other fans of cancelled shows that send the producers all sorts of crap in the mail, but if this season did not get a proper run, you’d see me REALLY lose it. Oh, and the glorious third season (my favorite so far) is on dvd March 18.

My Little Pony is 25! There’s some sort of display going on in NYC. Hint hint for anyone that lives there to go and take pics for me. I read an article recently that claimed that the early ponies looked like ponies, and the more recent ones look like underage porn stars. You be the judge:

THEN:

NOW:

list: underappreciated New Kids on the Block songs

I recently acquired the digital albums of the days of yore. Realizing that there are some gems on these that didn’t get ENOUGH airplay. I am here to bring these to the surface! It’s only fair!

03-popsicle.mp3

Who was Maurice Starr fooling? This is basically New Edition’s “Candy Girl” made for white kids.

08-i-wanna-be-loved-by-you.mp3

The boys really spill their hearts out in this one. Each one gets a whole section to themselves, and they tell us their astrological sign and a lil more about what makes them tick. Highlight: Joey M. is all “I’m just a kid”. You can hear him thinking, “Mom, I don’t want to be in the band anymore! Take me home!” Also, I was so pumped that Donnie and I are both Leos. Who am I kidding? I still pumped about that!

06-new-kids-on-the-block.mp3

Everyone needs a song that explains the raison d’etre behind their band. And one with some very bad rapping.

04-cover-girl.mp3

Omg, not only the best NKOTB songs ever, but maybe one of the best songs ever. This was a hit, but it wasn’t crazy huge, like all the ones that Jordan sang. It has a rocking guitar solo too. And it actually is pretty good, for a pop song.

09-my-favorite-girl.mp3

I always liked this one. It seemed…really intense.

02-tonight.mp3

This was showed how mature the guys were. They also stray from many NKOTB canons that we have come to know and love. Firstly, an intro on a mandolin. Then, they sing about the trials and tribulations of being famous, and reminiscing about their expansive career. Then, a full orchestra backing up the chorus! Highlight: “See the girls with the curls in their hair/the buttons and the pins and the loud fanfare”. It’s very Kafka-esque for them to acknowledge their own fame and cultural mark. Trippy.

06-happy-birthday.mp3

Jon Knight was getting mad that he really never sang or did anything useful in the band. So they gave him a solo song, and figured they had to give him something simple. It’s not the Happy Birthday song you are thinking of; it’s a blatant ripoff of “Earth Angel”. Why did no one ever pick up on that?

07-funky-funky-xmas.mp3

I listened to the shit out of the Xmas album, much to the chagrin of my Jewish parents. This one gives me the biggest douche chills when I listen to it now. Yes, it’s a rap about Christmas. Complete with one of the guys talking is stupid funk voices, which is actually a bit racist. I can’t really make fun too much, because when I was in synagogue choir, we also did a Jewish rap song, about being “Holy…Holy…we shall be holy.” I know my brother can back me up on this one.

being home sick = watching Family Ties Season 2

Holy crap! Good stuff. Some highlights:

– Alex is the head of the prom committee and helps plan the “Civil War plantation” themed prom. Complete with a noose hanging from the gym ceiling. No fucking joke.

-Alex pretends to be a supporter of the ERA to win a girl’s heart. They go to a rally and he gets stuck for the night in jail with a bunch of rowdy feminists.

-Uncle Ned (Tom Hanks) is back from prison and comes to stay with the Keatons, but Alex finds out he’s an alcoholic when he finds him drinking a bottle of vanilla extract.