singles you should know


When Poison ruled the world…and my pants. It’s painful to watch Rock of Love now, knowing what once was.


list: underappreciated New Kids on the Block songs

I recently acquired the digital albums of the days of yore. Realizing that there are some gems on these that didn’t get ENOUGH airplay. I am here to bring these to the surface! It’s only fair!


Who was Maurice Starr fooling? This is basically New Edition’s “Candy Girl” made for white kids.


The boys really spill their hearts out in this one. Each one gets a whole section to themselves, and they tell us their astrological sign and a lil more about what makes them tick. Highlight: Joey M. is all “I’m just a kid”. You can hear him thinking, “Mom, I don’t want to be in the band anymore! Take me home!” Also, I was so pumped that Donnie and I are both Leos. Who am I kidding? I still pumped about that!


Everyone needs a song that explains the raison d’etre behind their band. And one with some very bad rapping.


Omg, not only the best NKOTB songs ever, but maybe one of the best songs ever. This was a hit, but it wasn’t crazy huge, like all the ones that Jordan sang. It has a rocking guitar solo too. And it actually is pretty good, for a pop song.


I always liked this one. It seemed…really intense.


This was showed how mature the guys were. They also stray from many NKOTB canons that we have come to know and love. Firstly, an intro on a mandolin. Then, they sing about the trials and tribulations of being famous, and reminiscing about their expansive career. Then, a full orchestra backing up the chorus! Highlight: “See the girls with the curls in their hair/the buttons and the pins and the loud fanfare”. It’s very Kafka-esque for them to acknowledge their own fame and cultural mark. Trippy.


Jon Knight was getting mad that he really never sang or did anything useful in the band. So they gave him a solo song, and figured they had to give him something simple. It’s not the Happy Birthday song you are thinking of; it’s a blatant ripoff of “Earth Angel”. Why did no one ever pick up on that?


I listened to the shit out of the Xmas album, much to the chagrin of my Jewish parents. This one gives me the biggest douche chills when I listen to it now. Yes, it’s a rap about Christmas. Complete with one of the guys talking is stupid funk voices, which is actually a bit racist. I can’t really make fun too much, because when I was in synagogue choir, we also did a Jewish rap song, about being “Holy…Holy…we shall be holy.” I know my brother can back me up on this one.